The Alternative Hypothesis
by JTR01
Summary: Leonard Hofstadter has been living two lives since a car accident when he was a kid. Now, after a minor episode in both realities, he tells his therapists from both about his unique condition.
1. Chapter 1

I have just watched scenes from the original pilot of Big Bang Theory, and having recently finished Awake I got this idea. At first, I considered putting it as a crossover, but then thought that it was only slightly inspired by it. If you think I should put it as a crossover, tell me. Now, the things in the canon reality are going to be shown in bold, while the things in the pilot reality are in italic. Things in both are when the same thing happens in both realities. Also, in case you get confused, understand that Leonard's psychiatrists are asking the same questions a lot of the time and he often has the same conversations with both of them. That is why it switches between them the way it does. I don't own the Big Bang Theory or any characters.

* * *

 **"Why don't you tell me about your dreams again Dr Hofstadter? Tell me how this all works."**

 **Leonard signed slightly, annoyed by the question. He stared at his psychiatrist Bella Robert for a moment, trying to not appear stressed. If he appeared stress, who knows what she will tell people. Taking a deep breath, he began speaking.**

 **"Well I wake up, I drive to work with Sheldon, I do my work, have lunch with my friends. I go home to my apartment, spend time with Penny, me and all my friends hang out and stuff. And then I go to sleep."**

 **"And then?" Robert said with a smile, wanting him to continue.**

 **"And then I wake up. And everything is different."**

 _"And how long has this been happening?" Peter Long asked, fiddling with a pen._

 _"Since I was about eleven. I was in a car accident with my mother and father. We were all fine. Well, I had to be at a hospital for a few days, but nothing major was wrong with me. But the couple in the other car weren't as lucky."_

 **"And the woman died?"**

 **"Well, here yes." Leonard responded, scratching the side of his head nervously. "But in that other place, Lisa's husband Bill died."**

 _"So you stay in contact with Mrs...Allen is it?"_

 _"Its not like we go to the movies or anything, but she lived only a few houses away from me, and I often helped do odd jobs around her house growing up. Now I just email her every now and then, specifically at birthday's and Christmas. I still keep in contact with her son."_

 _Long stared at the younger man with fascination, not knowing that Leonard's other shrink does the same thing. "And ever since then you've had these dreams where Bill Allen lived?"_

 _Leonard nodded._

 **"And what is your relationship with Mr Allen?"**

 **"I tried to talk to him, like I did with Mrs Allen. But he just refused to acknowledge me. Eventually, he took his son and left. I've never heard about what happened to him." Leonard answered sadly, thinking about the past.**

 **"What about Mr Allen's son? What was your relationship with him"**

 _"You mentioned you stay in contact with Mrs Allen's son. Are you friends then?"_

 **"Harold was two years older than me. We didn't hang out much before the accident, but afterwards he became...withdrawn from everyone else. I guess that sort of contributed to Mr Allen leaving."**

 _"Harold was two years older, so we didn't talk much. I have always admired him for how he handled the accident. Instead of letting it break him, he tried to carry on with his life. And since I kept helping out at his house, we eventually got past the awkwardness and became friends. But, eventually we grew apart over time, due to going to different school, but we still email each other. He's actually in Europe now on his honeymoon."_

 _"Tell me again about these dreams. What are they like?"_

 **Robert stared intently at Leonard, with the latter knowing by her look that she has never dealt with someone like himself before. He guessed that was just one of the consequences of being him.**

 **"Things aren't completely different. I mean, I still live with Sheldon. I still work at the university. My relationship with my family is exactly the same. But after living two lives since I was eleven, I ended up making different choices in both. Just like everyone else did."**

 _"Everyone else?"_

 **"Yeah. Its not like I'm the only one making the changes. Its like for every possible decision that was made in one world, the opposite outcome happened in the other. That's why sports are pretty much pointless. I'm able to see both teams winning."**

 **"But what about your life Dr Hofstadter? What's different about it in these dreams?"**

 **"Well, if we had to start somewhere, I guess it would have to be about Sheldon."**

* * *

 _"Come on Leonard, we're going to be late! Gilda and Katie aren't going to wait forever." Sheldon yelled to his roommate, as he typed some things on the computer._

 _"Well that's not my fault!" Leonard responded as he came into the living room cleaning his glasses. "Its your own fault for spending so much time looking at porn! I told you to wake me up at half past-"_

 _"I did!" Sheldon shouted._

 _"Let me finish. I told you to wake me up at half past five, not half past eight!" Leonard put on his glasses and grabbed his coat as his roommate grabbed his. The two quickly checked that they had everything they needed._

 _"So you and Katie are talking again?" Leonard asked, hoping he wasn't breaching a poor subject. For the last few weeks, Sheldon had been moping about since Katie broke up with him._

 _"Yes. I know things have been rough the last few weeks, but me and Katie finally worked things out."_

 _"Well, that's great. And Sheldon," Leonard patted his roommate on the arm as he closed the door to their apartment, "don't feel down because of what happened with Katie. There are plenty of other fish out in the sea. Presumably one who would describe herself as a cute bespectacled neurobiologist with hair the color of mud_ _."_

 _Sheldon stared at Leonard with a confused look as he zipped up his coat. "Leonard, I feel that I should tell you before you put me on a dating website, me and Katie worked things out through sex all night."_

 _Leonard paused for a second, before giving him a big smile. "That's great buddy. I was just spit balling, you know with the other fish in the sea thing."_

 _"But why would you think I would be with a neurobiologist?" Sheldon asked. "They are completely below me. I would rather have sex with an engineer. That is by far a much worthwhile occupation."_

* * *

 _"So Sheldon is less active sexually in your dreams? Why do you suppose that is?"_

 _Leonard shrugged, rubbing the watch on his wrist for comfort. It was an old, leather strapped one and if one was to look close enough, they would see that it had been broken for a long time as the Hans no longer move. Something Long had noticed in previous sessions._

 _"What's with the broken watch?" Long asked, noticing that his previous question seemed to make Leonard uncomfortable._

 **Leonard stared down at his digital watch. It had died years ago, but he still wore it despite that fact, as he used his phone to check the time now instead of a watch. He only really took it off when he had to, and those moments were rare.**

 **"Its to help me keep everything, you know, controlled." he answered. "I wear one of those old watches with a leather strap** **when I'm with Sheldon, Gilda and Katie."**

 **"You mean in your dreams, remember?"**

 **Leonard hesitated for a second, before nodding.**

 _"Why don't you tell me about these other people in your dreams Dr Hofstadter? The ones who take the place of your friends Gilda and Katie." Long asked, wanting to pursue the conversation about his understanding of dreams and reality later._

* * *

 **"I can't even believe we are having this conversation! It defies all logic! I mean, its just insane!" Leonard frowned slightly as he tiptoed into the living room to see Howard arguing with Raj, both looking as if they were in in a huge and important meeting. Sheldon sat at his spot, observing them quietly**

 **"I'm telling you dude, Leonard is cheating on Penny! He called her** **-" Raj stopped when he finally noticed Le** **onard. Howard and Sheldon spun around when they realised who Raj was staring at.**

 **"Hey pal, how's it going?" Howard asked cheerfully, trying to hide what the three had been talking about. Leonard just stared at the three expectantly, until Howard gave in.**

 **"Look, Raj is saying that you're cheating on Penny, which I know is insane."**

 **"Hey, can I at least say what I need to say?" Raj asked, not continuing until Howard gestures towards him. "I heard him call Penny Katie!"**

 **Leonard's blood went cold. He remembered what time Raj was referring to. Penny had been having one of her meaner moments at the movies a** **nd, while she didn't hear him, he had called her Katie quietly. Its just that when she acted like that, she reminded him of his other friend.**

 **"Do you know a Katie Leonard?" Sheldon asked.**

 **"Oh come on guys. Yes, I know a Katie. I see her sometimes on my way to work. Bu** **t I swear, I'm not cheating on Penny" Leonard said, knowing that they can't say he was lying as he had technically said the truth. The only bit he let out was the fact that Katei was only his friend in an alternate universe.**

 **Raj stared at** **him for a moment, as if unsure, before letting out a deep breath. "I'm sorry Leonard. I guess my imagination just went crazy."**

* * *

 _"Why is it that, with the exception of Sheldon, you are friends with completely different people in your dreams?" Long asked inquisitively._

 **"Surely there must be a reason. In your dreams you seem to have made things similar, yet altered things slightly. There is no Penny, there is no Howard, or Raj, or Bernadette, or Amy. Why do you think you only keep Sheldon in your dreams, and these two completely different people?"**

 _"Because they ended up living different lives here. Just like Gilda and Katie lived completely different lives over there." Leonard responded._

 _Long began to speak, but then noticed how Leonard had spoken his last sentence. "Did you look for your actual friends in your dreams?"_

 **Robert smiled at Leonard, who was wonderful what he should say. He had struggled with the same conversation with Long, and he often found it annoying by how the two gave the same questions.**

 **"I once looked everyone up, over there. Just like I did here for Katie and Gilda. I felt like I needed to know what had happened to them all."**

 **"It took a lot of looking, but I eventually found out what happened to everyone. You might try to over analyze this, but there was a news report about a murder a few years ago. A woman had been killed by her son, Norman Bates style. That son was Howard. I was so horrified when I learned that. I couldn't look at Howard for weeks."**

 _"I met Katie while on my way to the comic book store about three years ago. She was smoking something she shouldn't be smoking, arguing with her mother on her phone. I tried to talk to her, I thought I could replicate our original meeting all those years ago. But she just got mad and walked off."_

 **"Raj actually never left India. He stayed there. You wouldn't believe how difficult it was to find that out. Seriously, it took a huge dent out from my savings,** **and unless I go to see him, I won't be able to learn any more** **. Anyway, I found out that Amy was a veterinarian when I took Gilda's cat Buttons to the vet. I had never been more surprised, let me tell you."**

 **"Bernadette married her college professor Glenn, but that eventually fell apart by the guy cheating on her. I see her working at the cheesecake factory all the time. She's a single mother. I've seen her kid, and if I'm honest he seems to be the only good thing to be caused by her not being with Howard. He's a freaking prodigy at math and science."**

 _"And let's not forget about Gilda. She was in an accident when she was a kid. Became paralyzed from the waist down. I tried to befriend her, I wanted to help her. We've been friends for years after all. But I couldn't get through to her."_

 **"What about Penny? Your wife?"**

 **"I was always reluctant to look for her." Leonard replied honestly. "I was afraid of learning that something bad happened to her. But eventually I worked up the courage."**

 **Robert waited a few moments, be for gesturing at Leonard to continue. He gave her a weak smile, obviously nervous about what he was going to tell her.**

 **"She got into the film business. Just not the kind she wanted. Not even into the bad movies she did here. She got into the...You know...R-rated movies." Robert looked away from Leonard awkwardly, deciding to talk about this at a later date, before deciding to speak about something else.**

 **"You seem to be over concerned with these dreams, don't you think?" Robert told him calmly, writing down noted on her clipboard.**

 _"I mean, you do remember that these people, with the exception of Mr Cooper, they're not real." Long said firmly._

 _Suddenly, he noticed how Leonard was acting by what he said. Long leaned forward, starting to realize the truth._

 **"You do know that these are just dreams, correct?" Robert asked hesitantly, becoming even more interested as she observes Leonard's body language.**

 **"Do you want me to be honest?" Leonard eventually asked.**

 _"Of course. That's what these sessions are all about." Long responded, sitting back with anticipation on his face._

 _Leonard took a deep breath. "I don't know."_

 **"I mean, when I first woke up in the hospital, I kept falling unconscious, so I'm not sure which I woke up in first. That's when I first noticed what was happening. But since then I've met so many people, experienced so much."**

 _"I got into my first fight in the other place. I first lost my virginity in this world. I met Sheldon in this place first as well. But I never heard of Howard or Raj until I met them in the other world. And that's not to mention the fact that, regardless if I'm awake here or there, everything feels completely real to me."_

 **"Wait, wait. Are you saying what I think your saying?" she asked slowly, as if it was a struggle to entertain the notion.**

 _"Do you not know the difference between being awake, and being asleep?" Long asked quickly, the astonishment evident in his eyes._

 _"Well, you'll be surprised by how easy it is to manage with it when you say it like that, but yeah. I really can't tell if I'm asleep or awake right now." Leonard responded._

 **"You do realize that this is not good."**

 _"Regardless of how you feel about these dreams, they are a negative influence on your life. You being only partially involved in events in reality is not a healthy lifestyle, not to mention the negative drawbacks your dreams should bring."_

 **"I'm truthfully surprised it took this long for the negatives to become apparent. After so many years, you must have ignored the signs until eventually they caused that episode at the university."**

 **Leonard thought back to what caused the university to force him to go to these sessions, in both worlds. One moment, he had been with Sheldon and Howard in the cafeteria, and the next he was waking up in his bed. Until he got to the cafeteria again with Gilda, nothing else happened. But once getting there he had fallen to the ground in pain and woken up back here.**

 _"Have you told anyone about these dreams?" Long asked, interested. Leonard could tell he was wondering if his "dreams" had affected his relationship with people._

 _"I told my parents when I was younger, before I began to figure things out. They didn't believe me. But besides then, I've kept it a secret for years. Never told anyone."_

 _"Could that have contributed to the stress? You taking on all the responsibility these dreams caused you to have in your life?"_

 **"If I may Leonard, if I can call you that, you need to accept the simple truth. That your dreams are not real. That you need to reject them. You have been lucky to have survived this long with this condition, but if your episode is any indication, it is time you dealt with the problem." Robert said gently, trying to persuade the physicists.**

 _"Unless you learn to reject these fantasies, things will only get worse Dr Hofstadter. You will continue to suffer even more than you have. And that will also lead to your friends to suffer, not just you. " Long told Leonard firmly and with conviction_

 _ **Leonard was quiet for a moment, obviously contemplating what his shrinks have individually been telling him. And while they have failed to realize it, he was going to tell them the exact same thing.**_

 _ **"Reject huh? You seem to not really understand what I am saying. I don't want to reject my friends." Leonard looked at his psychiatrist straight in the eyes, the full force of what he was about to say also being sent through the emotions in his eyes.**_

 _ **"I love both my lives. Everyone else, they only get one. Only one life where they don't get to experience all the things they missed. I've been given a gift. A gift to experience twice as much out of life. To have so many friends, to have a bigger family than anyone could imagine."**_

 _ **"Now, I will go to these sessions for as long as the university makes me. But when it comes between choosing between my lives, between everyone I've ever met, between my friends, I can assure you of one thing. I have no plans to ever make any progress."**_

* * *

Good or bad? Like I have said before in another fan fiction, the only bad criticism is no criticism. Also, tell me if you see any typos.


	2. Chapter 2

While I originally intended this story to be one chapter only, I decided to do more after getting so many reviews from people wanting me to continue this. I should say however that I am also working on two other fanfictions: The Birth of Legends for Fable and United We Stand for Being Human. Also, because I didn't intend to continue this, I need time to create a proper story for it. So if you can just give me time between chapters, I will try to post another. And if I do decide to stop posting, I will say so. By the way, because the two realities in Awake were called red and green respectively, I've decided to give the two realities in these stories names based in the type of watch Leonard wears in each one. The canon reality is called digital, while the pilot reality is called analog.

* * *

 _"Okay, now I know something's up!" Leonard told Gilda as he observed the fancy restaurant she had dragged him into. "Sheldon and Katie may dress up in fancy clothes, but there's no way in hell she'll ever be seen dead in a place like this. This is a place where you find snobs, as she would say."_

 _Gilda signed inwardly while Leanard observed her, trying to figure out her plan. When she had told Leonard to get into his best suit, he had suspected his friend of trying to pull wool over his eyes. But after seeing this ridiculously posh restaurant, he was beginning to get an understanding of Gilda's plan. Honestly, he should have figured it out earlier by how she hadn't been bothered to dress at her best. While she didn't wear her fanciest clothes very often, when she did she gave all her effort in looking her best._

 _"Alright, just don't get mad okay?" Gilda asked hesitantly, earning a look of annoyance from Leonard._

 _"You do realize that when you say something like that, it means you know I'm going to be angry no matter what you say." he said simply, while Gilda shrugged in agreement ._

 _"In there is a friend of mine. Liz Parkman, she works as an engineer at the university." she told him, not noticing Leonard become stiff at the word engineer. Every time something reminded him of Howard, he always thought of the version of his friend from this world. "_ _Now, I know how you feel about me and Katie doing this, especially since I'm your ex, but I feel that I am obligated as your friend to stop you from ending up as an old man living alone with ten cats. So_ _I thought you could just have a small dinner with her and-"_

 _"No." he said firmly and swiftly, before storming off. Gilda followed quickly, having obviously predicted this reaction from him judging by her lack of heels. She was right, Leonard hated it when she did things like this. For the last few years, all she and Katie have tried to do is hook him up with one of their friends, never knowing the real reason why he kept refusing._

 _"Come on Leonard! Me and Stuart need someone to go on a double date with who don't abandon us half way through to have sex!" she exclaimed in distraught manner, referring of course to Katie and Sheldon. Leonard smiled for a second when she mentioned Stuard, before quickly hiding it. He has always been puzzled by how different Stuart was here than back in what he called the digital world._

 _"I know you mean well Gilda, but please understand that I'm ok. I don't need you, or anyone else, getting involved in my love life."_

 _Gilda spread her hands out, confused. "Love life!? What love life? I'm pretty sure that the last time you had sex was before we broke up nearly six years ago!"_

 _"Shut up will you! Do you have to tell the whole world about my last sexual encounter?" Leonard shouted, feeling embarrassed by some of the stairs the two of them were getting from passing strangers._

 _"If I'm honest bro, I'm shocked that you've actually gotten laid anyway!" one shouted while walking past in a group, earning a few laughs from his ape like friends. Leonard glared at them, then at Gilda before continuing to walk away._

 _"Leonard, you should be grateful that me or Katie are trying to get you out there!" Gilda shouted at him. "Because we could have easily called your mother for help."_

 _Leonard froze and turned to stare at his friend, his face becoming pale. "Please Gilda, tell me you haven't called my mother?"_

 _Gilda couldn't stop herself from smiling, liking how terrified he looked. To be fair, everyone would be horrified if their mother became involved in finding them someone to date. Gilda toyed with the idea of just leaving him alone with this possible nightmare, but eventually decided that she wasn't that cruel._

 _"No, I haven't. But Leonard, I'm being serious. You need to find someone to be with." Gilda said kindly, walking up to her friend. "For years, you've been acting like you're in a relationship with someone when your not. And I know you're not because I've tracked you with the GPS in your phone."_

 _Leonard stared at her in shock for a second, opening his mouth to say something. Eventually however he just shook his head and walked off, wanting to go to sleep as quickly as possible so he can wake up with his wife._

* * *

 **Leonard opened his eyes and smiled as he saw Penny's face. Slowly and gently, in order to not wake her, he slipped his arm that had been around her away from her. He quietly got out of bed, wearing only a white shirt and a pair of boxer shorts, and grabbed his watch from the bedside table and putting it on his wrist.**

 **He opened the door to his room, desiring his morning cup of coffee to wake himself up. It was something he always did in both realities, in order to bring some sort of structure and order to the chaos of his life. When he had first tried to get a grip on things as a child, he had focused on having the same breakfast each day and having specific seats at school to do work. Since then, he has ensured that there is always a routine or difference to prevent the confusion he sometimes felt. Such as his watch.**

 **He entered the kitchen and began, in the same order as he always did, putting together his coffee. As he did so, despite trying to stop it, his thoughts went back to what Gilda had done before he went to sleep in analog. He had a strict rule to never think about what happens in one world when he is in another. It always makes it more likely that he will say or so something he shouldn't.**

 **"Morning Leonard." Sheldon said with a yawn, wearing his blue dressing gown and looking like he stayed up all night with his girlfriend. For a brief second, because he had been thinking about Gilda, Leonard wondered if Katie was here. Mentally he frowned at himself, remembering that Sheldon was with Amy here. And that here, Sheldon would sooner find his faith in God than do half the things the other Sheldon proudly claims to have done with Katie behind closed doors.**

 **"Morning. How'd you sleep?" he asked, wanting to make conversation with his roommate and best friend.**

 **"Fine thank you." Sheldon responded, going to the cupboards to get his cereal.**

 **"You want your coffee black like normal?" Leonard asked without hesitation, quickly grabbing another mug for Sheldon.**

 **His roommate looked at him strangely, placing his box of cereal onto the table slowly, and it took Leonard about a second to realize that. It took him another second to realize why. Sheldon didn't take any kind of coffee here. The other Sheldon did. Leonard mentally began scolding himself, angry for his slip up, as he desperately tried to think of a way to cover for his mistake.**

 **"You know I don't have coffee Leonard. Black or otherwise. It would disrupt my bowel movements and result in a need for a toilet break during work hours." Sheldon told Leonard, worry evident in his eyes.**

 **"Right, sorry. I forgot." Leonard said with a smile, putting the second mug away and flicking the kettle on.**

 **Sheldon continued to stare at Leonard, obviously confused. He looked like he wanted to say something, to speak his mind about something that has been worrying him, but he eventually gave up and carried on making his breakfast.**

* * *

 **"Tell me, why do you suppose that you have subconsciously created a dream where your not with your wife?" Robert asked politely, which led to her receiving a groan from Leonard.**

 **"Ok, let's get something straight." He said seriously, looking straight at Robert. "I love my wife. There is no way I would in anyway create an alternate reality where I'm not with her. He'll, when I'm there I refuse all of Gilda's and Katie's attempts at getting me a girlfriend."**

 _"Can we talk about you lack of a significant other, if you don't find it too uncomfortable." Long asked, with Leonard being able to see where this is going. However, feeling that Long is going to somehow get him to talk about it even if he said no, Leonard nodded reluctantly._

 _"You've told me that your friends have tried before to arrange a date for you. Can you tell me why you have always refused to even talk to any of the people they have tried to get you dating?"_

 _Leonard knew where Long was taking this, and he didn't like it one bit. "Well, I just don't like arranged dates. I want to be able find the future Mrs Hofstadter by myself. It's that simple."_

 _"Is that really the reason?" Long asked after a second of silence. "Or is it that you allow you life to be controlled by these dreams of yours?"_

 **"I'm not saying you don't love Penny. That's not what I was implying. But is it even remotely possible that the reason you're not with her in your dreams is because you don't believe that you actually deserve her?"**

 **"Okay, I have three points to say about that question. One, that is actually a good question. Two, I have thought of it. And three, I honestly began to believe that it was more likely that this was a dream when I started dating her."**

 _"Don't you realize that this is what I've been saying before? You're emotionally too indebted to your dreams that they have prevented you from moving forward with your life. If you continue like this, l_ _ife will pass you by in seconds and you'll find yourself married to someone who doesn't actually exist."_

 _All Leonard wanted to do was shout at Lee and tell him that Penny did exist here in the analog. But he knew that he couldn't tell Long, or Robert about Katie and Gilda, about how he has met his friends here before. He would see it as signs that he's suffering from delusions and would call the men in white coats, and before Leonard knew it he would be in a straitjacket._

 **"Why don't you see someone else in your dreams?" Robert asked, appearing to be genuinely interested from Leonard's point of view.**

 **"I can't. It's against my rules." Leonard replied, continuing after seeing Robert confusion. "I have a number of rules and routines to prevent any confusion between my two lives. One rule is that, unless they're the same person, I don't date one person in one place and someone else in the other. To me that's still cheating. Plus, after getting stuck in a love triangle with two women from each life when I was in college, I don't want to run any kind of risk to my routines again."**

 **"I only really dated other people in the other place when I wasn't dating here. For example, one time when Penny had broken up with me but before I started to date Priya, Raj's sister, I had dated Gilda for a short time. But we broke up a little while later because we couldn't be more than friends to each other."**

 _"Dr Hofstadter, please answer me this. If this Penny did exist, and this was all a dream, why do you keep coming back here? Why do you dream of a life without the woman you love?" Long asked, obviously not being able to not seem smug about his question._

 _Leonard hesitated, having asked himself that same question many times before until he came to a conclusion. He couldn't tell Long what he really thought however. He would think he was insane if he said that he believed both worlds to be real, and neither of them were a dream._

 _"That's a good question. Here's a better one: why did I keep dreaming of a world with Penny when she had broken up with me?" Leonard didn't bother to hide his smugness, happy when Long frowned when trying to think of an answer._

* * *

 **"Yes or no, do you think Flashpoint should have affected the Arrowverse more drastically than it has?" Howard asked Leonard as the two walked up the stairs of their building, Sheldon and Ran following behind them.**

 **"No." he answered swiftly and without hesitation.**

 **"Yes." Sheldon said at the same time, causing Leonard to look back at his roommate in confusion, though he didn't stop walking.**

 **"What do you mean "yes"? The way the CW is handling the Flashpoint storyline has been amazing!" Leonard asked, while complaining at the back of his mind about how he has to walk up these stairs. In the analog, him and Sheldon live in a different building and because Leonard never met Howard or Raj in that life, the elevator there works perfectly.**

 **"Wrong! So, so wrong!" Sheldon argues, giving Leonard a look. "Flashpoint offered them a chance to do hundreds of changes to the timeline. They could have done anything!"**

 **"But what about Arrow and Legends of Tomorrow?" Howard asked. "They couldn't just change everything about it and expect fans to know whats happening."**

 **"Ooh, don't forget Vixen!" Raj piped in, wanting to be part of the conversation.**

 **"No one cared about Vixen until the actress appeared in live action Raj." Howard responded.**

 **"I'm going to stop this conversation before it gets too far away from the original topic." Sheldon quickly stated, preventing Raj from talking. "Now, what fan watched one show but didn't watch all the shows in a shared universe?"**

 **"Well, not everyone who likes Arrow likes the Flash. Some people have different tastes than others." Leonard answered, feeling slightly happy as he got closer to his apartment. He really wanted to sit down and just relax.**

 **"I loved Alphas, and because it was part of a shared universe, I watched Warehouse 13 and Eureka even though I hated the latter." Sheldon quickly responded, wanting to win the argument.**

 **Leonard was about to say something else when he heard quieter sobbing. Looking around, he saw his friends had heard it as well. Quickly skipping a few of the steps on the stairs, he quickly found the sobbing was coming from his and Sheldon's apartment. Opening it quickly, becoming scared as he began to recognize the voice, Leonard nearly had a panic attack when he saw Penny crying on the chair.**

 **"Penny? Penny what's wrong?" Leonard asked as he dashed to her side, while his friends looked on from the threshold of the apartment. Penny looked to see Leonard and began to cry more, obviously finding it difficult to fin the words.**

 **"Oh Leonard...I..." Penny let out another sob. "I'm sorry...I know I didn't know her that well, but..."**

 **After a few seconds of Leonard comforting her, she eventually took a deep breath and looked straight at Leonard. The physicist could tell that for some reason, she was trying to be brave and strong for him. His fear began to grow bigger and bigger, and horrible thoughts started to cross his mind like a whirlwind.**

 **"Leonard, I...I got a call from your brother. Beverly, she was in...She was in an accident and..." Penny couldn't hold back the tears, and Leonard finally realized what had happened.**

 **"She died Leonard."**

* * *

Does everyone like this chapter? Remember, reviews are what are going to keep me writing. By the way, I'm not sure what genre I should put this is, but I'm thinking science fiction. Does anyone disagree?


	3. Chapter 3

Since this is so far more popular than my two other stories, I've decided to focus on this more than the other two that I am doing.

* * *

 **"What was your relationship with your mother?" Robert asked kindly, sympathetic to Leonard, and expecting him to discuss his probably close relationship with his deceased parent. Most people in his position did. The man in front of her, rubbing his watch gently out of habit was silent for a moment before answering.**

 **"Whats a good comparison that doesn't make it sound creepy?" he mused to himself. "I know. My mother and me had the same relationship a wannabe sports car owner had with their old and beaten up car. The owner may have to have the car in their life, but they don't like it at all."**

 **Robert just stared at Leonard for a second, before going to her phone and pressing a button. "Julia? Cancel my next appointment. This is going to take longer than expected."**

 _"So, I expect your relationship with your mother is...distant?" Long asked._

 _"What makes you say that?" Leonard asked in return, wearing a formal black suit like he always did._

 _"Well, since you are extremely connected to these dreams of yours. Yet, despite your mother dying you seem to be in no distress." Long answered, fiddling with his blue pen. "Judging by our conversations in our last sessions, I have to conclude that the reason for your apparent calmness is not because you acknowledge your dreams to be fiction."_

 **"Look, I'm not apathetic to this. I cared about my mother, I mean, everyone cares about their mother." Leonard said, defending himself from Robert looks of accusations. "It's just that, I never really saw her as family. I wanted to, that's why I always tried to be involved with her. But she was just so...I don't know."**

 **"So you wish you and your mother had a closer relationship than you did?" Robert asked, while Leonard rolled his eyes at the stupidity of the question.**

 _"How are the people in your dreams reacting to the news?"_

 _"They're just treating me like glass. It's like they're just waiting for me to break down into tears or something at any moment." Leonard grumbled, deep down wondering if that was what he should be doing. "Sheldon has been in tears and Penny just keeps trying to comfort me."_

 _"And what about your life here, in reality? Has this change in your dreams affected your actions while awake?"_

 _"No. I do the same things I always do."_

 **"Why is it that Sheldon has a closer relationship with your mother than you?" Robert inquired.**

 **"I don't know. Because he's the son she always wanted?" Leonard replied. He frowned slightly when he saw the look Robert was giving him. "What?"**

 **"What's Sheldon's relationship with your mother like in your dreams, if you don't mind me asking?"**

 **Leonard stared at her for a second, trying to figure out her plan. "Well, if you must know, she hates him. Like, hates him to the point she might just one day kill him. She honestly thinks he's a bad influence on me."**

 **"And how does that make you feel?" she asked with, strangely, a knowing smile.**

 **"Pretty great actually. It gives me a break from all the robot like affection and praise she gives him." Leonard replied with a smile, before frowning in confusion again. "Why do you ask?"**

 **"Maybe we're finally getting an understanding of why you dream this alternate reality." she began, while Leonard groaned quietly in annoyance. "Is it possible that these dreams come from your resentment towards people like your mother and even Sheldon?"**

 _ **Leonard was silent for a second. "That is the most ridiculous idea I have ever heard."**_

 _"Well, can we just look at the facts please? While I'm not saying it is the sole origin of your dreams, resentment towards your mother seems to be a strong factor in how they work." Long protested calmly. "According to you, for years your mother has been a negative influence in your life, judging you and your friends. So eventually, your subconscious removed her from your dreams so you can no longer be judged by her."_

 _"You do realize that makes me sound like I want to kill her, Norman Bates style." Leonard argued._

 _"Well, I know you would never do something like that. But just think about it. All your resentments don't exist your dreams, because you want to be free from them. But after years, your mother has made you a resentment person towards people she approves of, so your dreams include that."_

 ** _"Like it or not," his shrink told him, "resentment is one of the huge factors that control your life, both in reality and your_ _dreams."_**

* * *

 _"Well, Rogue One has officially killed the anthology films idea, as expected." Gilda told Leonard as they stood in the elevator, reading everything on her phone. "The film was a complete box-office bomb and is being called the worse movie in Star Wars history, if not the whole of movie history. Hell, the studio was barely able to stop it from destroying any hope of the sequel trilogy continuing."_

 _"What do you mean? Rogue One was brilliant, and the only bad part was the fact that there was no title sequence at the beginning." Leonard replied, exiting the elevator as the door opened._

 _"Uhh, did we see the same movie? That piece of dirt sucked more than by baby nephew does with his pacifier!" Gilda said with shock, causing Leonard to realize his mistake._

 _"Sorry, I wasn't thinking. My mind was thinking about work, you know?" Leonard told her with a shaky grin. "But, who knows. In an alternate universe, perhaps the movie was good? Perhaps Felicity Jones was cast as Jyn and instead of having a new people play Leia and Tarkin, they instead used CGI?"_

 _"I'm sorry, but nothing could have saved that insult to fans." Gilda responded firmly, as Leonard opened the door to his apartment. "I mean, the ending was the worse. There was no thrill."_

 _Leonard rolled his eyes, thinking about the consequences of living two lives. One such consequence is the fact that some movies end up being really good in one world, yet they end up being terrible in the other. And sometimes, things are made in one world that were instead made into other things in the other. For example, in the analog Smallville wasn't created. Instead, fans enjoyed ten glorious years of the show called Bruce Wayne. Meanwhile, in the digital, Damien was a complete failure while in the analog it has been a big success._

 _"Well, I think-OH MY GOD!" Leonard screamed and quickly turned away. Unlike him, Gilda happily observed as Katie and Sheldon leaped from the couch and grabbed the nearest clothes. Leonard began rubbing his eyes, trying to forget what he saw that was part of Sheldon._

 _"They're dressed now. Sadly." Gilda told him with large smile. With a sigh, regretting slightly at how much Katie changed Gilda, Leonard turned back to face his friends. Katie's hair was wild and Sheldon's shirt was inside out, making it obvious to people what they were doing._

 _"Seriously? On the couch?" Leonard asked, feeling angry and remembering not for the first time why he preferred the digital Sheldon to the analog. The analog Sheldon caused Leonard so much more stress._

 _"Well, look, we just..." Katie began, but she inevitably trailed off into silence under Leonard's glare. Suddenly however, she began looking behind Leonard and her best friend. Turning around, Leonard was shocked to come face to face with his mother, Beverly Hofstadter. The woman who his wife had informed him to be dead._

 _"Mum?" Leonard asked, shocked._

 _"You call me mother Leonard, remember?" she replied strictly with coldness, walking into the apartment with a suitcase being dragged behind her._

 _"Why are you here? Why is she here?" he asked accordingly towards Gilda, instantly suspecting her. However his friend appeared to be just as confused as him._

 _"I'm here to set you up with someone Leonard." Beverly said simply, causing her son's mouth to drop open._

 _"What!?" Katie, Gilda and Leonard shouted, with the latter aiming his shout at Gilda._

 _"Why would you do that Gilda!? Why!?" Leonard shouted loudly._

 _"She didn't call her Leonard. I did." Sheldon told him quickly._

 _"What!?"_

 _"What!?"_

 _"What!?"_

 _"What, didn't he tell any of you?" Beverly asked the group, who all ignored her._

 _"Why the hell did you call my mother! I expected this from Gilda and Katie, but why the hell did you do it!?" Leonard asked furiously, trying to resist the urge to leap forward and strangle his bastard of a roommate to death._

 _"Because, as your roommate and your best friend, I have the duty to make sure you find your soul mate. Regardless of the means." he told Leonard with an air of superiority._

 _"Soul mate? Please don't tell me you believe in such a ridiculous and outdated fantasy?" Beverly injected into the conversation, but yet again everyone ignored her. "But what should I have expected from someone like you?"_

 _Sheldon gave her a quick glare, having always hated the woman, before refocusing on Leonard. "Leonard, your thirty-six. You need to find the future Mr Leonard Hofstadter already. Now, with Beverly's help-"_

 _"Whoa, whoa, hold your horses. What do you mean Mr Leonard Hofstadter?" Leonard asked slowly._

 _"Oh come on Leonard. It's the twenty-first century, and you know than none of us here have a problem with it. You don't have to hide it." Sheldon replied with kindness, as everyone stared at him in confusion. "None of us have a problem with you being gay."_

 _"Wait, what!?" Katie shouted again, her eyes wide. Everyone was silent for a moment after that, before Leonard began speaking._

 _"I'm not gay!" Leonard shouted at Sheldon, wondering what was going on. "Why do you think I am?"_

 _"Well, seeing that I have lived with you for more than twelve years, I have only seen you "date" two women: Gilda and my sister, which I still hate you for by the way." Sheldon answered, looking slightly annoyed by the questions. "Neither have told me why you broke up. And seeing as you have shown no attraction to other women since Gilda, I came to the assumption with my superior intellect that you finally realized you were in the closet until then."_

 _Upon realizing everyone's surprised and disbelieving looks, Sheldon shrugged. "Oh come on people. Didn't any of you read Sherlock Holmes? Using the evidence presented to me, the only other conclusion was that he was dating a girl in an alternate universe!"_

 _Ignoring the fact that Sheldon had worked out his secret without realizing it, Leonard instead focused on the problem at hand. However, before he could do or say anything, Katie spoke up._

 _"He's not gay Sheldon."_

 _"And how do you know." Sheldon asked, wondering why no one was agreeing with what he had just said._

 _"Do you remember when I slipped and dislocated by arm about six-year ago, before he dated Gilda, and Leonard had to drive me to the hospital?" she asked, continuing once Sheldon nodded. "Well, when Leonard was helping get into clothes, he took a peek. And he was so into this that he screamed Jesus's name."_

 _No one spoke after this. Leonard was blushing furiously, begging someone to save him from all of this embarrassment. Sheldon's mouth was wide open and his head was switching between his girlfriend and his roommate. Beverly just observed the friends, making a mental note to do a book on their seemingly insane relationship with each other. And finally, Gilda was snickering to herself with joy._

 _"Ok, now that we've cleared that-" Leonard began, but he was quickly cut off my Sheldon._

 _"So you haven't been checking me out lately?" At that, Gilda exploded with laughter and nearly collapsed to the floor._

 _"No!" Leonard shouted. "Now can I please-"_

 _"Why not?"_

 _"Because I'm not gay! I'm just not interested in seeing anyone. I don't need any of you to get involved with who I'm dating!" he yelled at them all, before stomping off towards his room. He really needed to get away from all of this._

* * *

 **"How you doing sweetie?"**

 **Leonard groaned at Penny's question, starting to regret his decision to get some sleep and come here. Sometimes, neither world offered him respite from stress. He started making himself some coffee.**

 **"I'm fine Penny." he told her simply, before turning to face her. "Want some coffee?"**

 **She didn't answer. Instead, she just started at him for a few seconds before speaking again. "That's it. Sit down, we are going to talk."**

 **"About what?" Leonard asked, despite already knowing the answer.**

 **"I said sit down!"**

 **Leonard considered making a stand. To show Penny that she couldn't boss him around. But as soon as the idea popped into his head, it fell apart by her cold and stern glare. Reluctantly, he sat do n on the chair and stared at Penny as he sat an the furthest end of the couch.**

 **"Now, I know you and your mom never had the best of relationships, but I still can't believe you." Penny told him. "I at least expected you to cry a little."**

 **"Well, give me a break. My mom wasn't like your's. Have you forgotten all the stories I told you?" he asked. "The hugging machine? My lack of birthdays? My grades at Christmas? Are any of these ringing a bell?"**

 **"Yes, I remember all that stuff. Here's my answer. Grow up."**

 **"What?"**

 **Penny gave Leonard a tough glare, frightening Leonard. "Yes, Beverly may have given you an emotionally lacking childhood. She may have given you millions of self doubts, a large lack of self worth and a desire to expect failure.** **But she is still your mother. She still gave you life and, deep down, she still loved you."**

 **"Loved me? She's never shown me any real compassion or affection, and when she tried it always ended up being an insult or a way to break my self worth and confidence." Leonard protested.**

 **"If she hated you as much as you claim, then why did she always try to be part of your life?" she asked, causing Leonard's confidence to falter. "She may had been harsh in raising you and teaching you how to live, but she never once forced you from her life. She always accepted you as part of it."**

 **"She could have disowned you if she had hated you. If she didn't love you, she would have refused to acknowledge you. Instead, while she could have toned it down, she gave you a lot of tough love like she gave your brother and sister, because she thought that was the best way to raise a child. And despite hating it, you have to admit that it did work. You are a successful scientist with friends and a wife who love you more than anything. Maybe you should start realizing that she gave you more than you'll ever be willing to admit."**

 **Leonard was quiet for a moment, thinking hard about what she had just said. As Penny observed him, Leonard felt emotions swirl within him and slowly he let out a deep breath.**

 **"Wow. Did you, uhh, think about that speech for awhile?" Leonard asked, feeling a bit less guilty when Penny gave him a smile.**

 **"It actually just came to me." Penny told him, and for a little while the two of them just sat there and smiled at each other. However, the smile eventually dropped. "But I'm serious Leonard. Beverly did a lot and now, you'll never have the chance again to repair your relationship. Despite how much we would want it, life doesn't grant a miracle like that."**

 **Leonard nodded slowly, and Penny then came over and gave him a hug, before standing up. "So, what some coffee?"**

 **"Yes please."**

 **"Coming right up. But only for this one time, alright? Don't go and start thinking that me making you coffee in the morning is going to be a constant thing." She told him with fake seriousness. Leonard just smiled happily, thinking about his mother and the mention of miracles, when the facts clicked into place.**

* * *

 _"You sure you don't need me to drive you mother?" Leonard asked, knowing the answer she was going to give him._

 _"No need Leonard, your father is going to pick me up. He had that meeting and he decided to get the same flight as me back home." he replied as he expected. As she checked through her belongings, having stayed at Gilda's and doubting that the woman was trustworthy, Leonard thought about how different things went with his parent's relationship in the analog. They love each other more than anything, despite both hating all those romantic concepts._

 _Since Leonard had made it clear that he didn't want anyone getting involved in his love life, Beverly had declared this a wasted trip. She then stayed the night at Gilda's and called Leonard's dad Alfred to come and get her. After of course, she had blamed Leonard's lack of a girlfriend on the influence of his friends._

 _"Well, have a safe trip." Leonard told her. As she offered him a handshake , Leonard took a deep breath and did what he practiced. He gave her a hug. She was surprised and slightly uncomfortable by the gesture of affection, but Leonard just ignored it._

 _Eventually, he pulled away and Beverly just gave him a long look of confusion. "Why did you do that Leonard."_

 _"Just, you know, in case something happens. While you're on the plane." Leonard replied awkwardly. "A lot of stuff can happen."_

 _"Alright." she said after a moment, before grabbing her bag. "Anything else?"_

 _"Yeah, there's one more thing. I was wondering if you, and maybe dad, would like it if we stayed in contact more." Leonard was afraid now. Afraid of the very likely rejection he was going to get. "You know, perhaps go to places or just talk more."_

 _"May I ask where this is coming from? You have never been interested in having a closer relationship before, or at least since you were nine." Beverly asked, appearing to be worried. "What's changed?"_

 _Leonard took a deep breath, to try and steady his nerves. "I realized that life is short and anything can happen. I don't want something bad to happen, and for our relationship to have always been bad. I want us to have fixed it."_

 _Beverly didn't speak for a moment, and the tension in the air was almost suffocating Leonard. However, she thankfully spoke again._

 _"I would like that Leonard." She said, and gave him what was perhaps a glimpse of a smile. Leonard however couldn't contain himself and his face broke into a huge smile. Shaking her head, Beverly gave him a very awkward hug and then walked out of his apartment door._

 _"Bye mom." he said to her as he entered the elevator, earning a wave goodbye. Leonard closed the door and, for the first time in a long time, felt happy to have a family. And not for the first time, he felt grateful for the gift he had been given by the universe. The gift to truly realize how precious and short life really was._

* * *

Hope you like this chapter. I'm not sure about it myself. Now, I have three things to say. One: in case no one knew this, Smallville was originally going to be a show called Bruce Wayne, and would have focused on the title character's journey into being batman. However, it was instead made into Smallville, though you can look at some of the planned storylines for the show on wikipedia.

Two: I have just watched the Brooklyn nine-nine/New girl crossover so I have a quick question that I need answered. I have been considering having this story crossing over with other shows every so often, and Leonard meeting both the canon version of the characters from the shows and the alternate versions of them. I was just wondering if anyone would like me to do that. If so, say so. They wouldn't become main characters in the story and none of the crossovers will be with sci-fi or horror shows, unless I can find a way to make them work, but the characters would appear for one chapter, and the shows will only be ones not confirmed to be fictional in the tbbt universe. Also, if I did do this, do you think I would have to move this story to the crossovers section? I'm only wondering because I have found some crossover fanfics posted as non-crossover fanfics. Anyway, if no one says anything, I'll just forget the whole crossover thing.

And three: you may have noticed that I have made small edits to previous chapter, changing some names. I did this as I decided that they made this fan fiction more of a crossover with Awake. If however reviews lead to me making this a crossover fanfiction, I will change them back.


	4. Chapter 4

_"Hurry up, we're going to be late!" Sheldon shouted to Leonard and Katie, who both groaned. However, in his excitement, Sheldon didn't hear them._

 _"How does he find a way to talk us into stuff like this?" Leonard asked his second roommate._

 _"Well, I'm here because he's cute and great in bed. What's your reason?" she asked with a shrug, while Leonard frowned as he thought about his answer. Before he could say anything however, she had run off to wrap her arm around Sheldon's, who was staring excitedly towards the store they were going to._

 _One of the numerous differences Leonard had found between the analog and digital Sheldon is that the one here loved planes more than anything, as opposed to trains. He took that love to its extreme however; he still had nightmares of when the annoying bastard talked him into skydiving._

 _As he entered the store, Leonard observed the excitement on his best friend's face as his eyes went from one toy plane to the next. And not for the first time, his began wondering whether he could actually call two people who are the same person his best friend. Both versions of Sheldon were annoying, had the exact same DNA, looked exactly the same, and both are incredibly childish. Yet, they were different in small and subtle ways and could never be called the same person, not really. So was it right to call both Sheldons his best friend as if there was only one?_

 _As always, this line of thinking only led to him thinking about Penny. Ever since him and Penny became official, ever since he decided to pursue her all those years ago, Leonard had been wrestling with the idea of dating her here in the analog. It was ridiculous though. He can't be cheating on his wife if he dates her here. Plenty of fiction involving characters in his situation would agree with that. But he knew that it sounded better in theory._

 _Ever since he was eleven years old, ever since that accident, he has been forced to see people make decisions that affect the world differently in one reality than the other. Here in the analog, the twin towers of the world trade centre towers still stood in Manhattan_ _and the the MCU was started by the film X-Men in 2000, and included Daredevil films and the Blade films. Doctor Who was fully revived in the 90s by the movie and is still running strong with Andrew Garfield having just regenerated into Tom Welling, while 2008 saw the first female president being elected. The 2007-2008 writers strike never happened, so season two of Heroes ended up being a success and the show ended on a fantastic final after eight seasons, which included thirteen volumes, while guns have been banned in the United States since 2010, with only police officers being allowed to use them._

 _And let's not forget what's going on in the rest of the world. The Soviet Union is still a powerful communist force, having managed to grow stronger after 1991 unlike in the digital, and the cold war between it and the U.S. has only come to a true end two years ago after finally finding a way for peace. Also, because of millions of decisions made, technology is light years ahead of the digital, with such things as advanced virtual reality headsets having been available to the public since 2009 because of UK companies suddenly becoming the best source for new technology, superseding all others._

 _So, despite being genetically the same person, the Penny here in this reality experienced a hundred different things in her life that make her, no matter how small, different from the woman he fell in love with. And nothing he can do could ever change that if he eve met her._

 _"Leonard! Leonard!" Sheldon said as he came running towards him, jumping about like he was a five year old who has been fed nothing but sugar for months. He began pulling at Leonard's arm, trying to drag him towards a large crowd of plane enthusiasts._

 _Leonard joined the group of people observing a fairly large toy plane, which was bright red with black and white stripes at its wings. Despite himself, he found himself admiring the perfect design of the toy. And somehow, despite not expecting it, the hours seemed to pass by faster than he had dreaded._

 _Soon, the three of them were on their way back to the apartment. Sheldon was carefully observing the well made toy he had bought, as Leonard and Katie just shook their heads and chucked together at how interested Sheldon was with planes. Because of that, he was unprepared for the man to jump out of an alley and flash a knife at him an his friend._ _The three froze and just stared at the knife and the man, who was roughly Leonard's size. He was wearing a classic black ski mask, and Leonard could only see his mouth and eyes._

 _"Alwight wosews, hand ovew all youw change!" he hissed after gesturing them into the alley. At the sound of his voice, Leonard suddenly became very confused and frowned, staring hard at his masked wannabe thief._

 _"Kripke?" he whispered hesitantly, hoping he was wrong. Somehow, neither Katie or Sheldon heard Leonard, but the man Leonard was slowly coming to accept was Barry Kripke did hear him._

 _"What did you say you wittle-" he began, coming closer to Leonard. However, he was cut off by Katie's fist being rammed into his face, sending him flying backwards into the wall of a building and slumping to the floor._

 _Katie than moved forward to carry on attacking, doing what she has always done best, yet Kripke quickly gets to his feet despite his excessive wobbling. Despite attempts to grab him, Kripke still managed to escape._

 _"Yeah you better run!" Katie yelled after him, shaking her fists. "You should look for a different line of work! I've met children who are better criminals than you!"_

 _"Yeah, you tell him honey!" Sheldon said with a smile, handing Leonard his plane so he can clapping in encouragement. Leonard however simply held the toy and looked straight at its lost in his thoughts._

* * *

 **"Who is Barry Kripke?"**

 **"He works at the university. He's not a friend or anything, but we do talk sometimes. Even though he's a pain sometimes." Leonard answered.**

 **"I see. Now why do you think that you have made him into a mugger who jumps out of alleyways with a knife in your dreams." Robert asked, fiddling with a necklace as she did.**

 _"I heard you got mugged a few days ago." Long said, looking expectantly at Leonard._

 _"Well, it was a bit scary, but I shouldn't have worried so much. Katie has always packed a mean right hook." Leonard told him with a smile, wanting to hide his discomfort of what happened. "Trust me on that. I know from experience."_

 **"Is he a threat to you academically?" Robert continued to ask.**

 **Leonard just stared at her for a second, amusement on his face. "I'm seriously trying to resist the impulse to shout the word wrong just like Sheldon."**

 **"So you're not threatened by him." When Leonard shakes his head, she continues. "Then why have you forced him into having a completely different occupation in your dreams, if you can call it that?"**

 **"I don't know." Leonard replied, wishing he could control time. He often found it tiresome and annoying when he had to pretend that he actually thought he dreamed an alternate universe. He wasn't sure why he pretended, seeing as it wouldn't hurt anyone, but he just felt that it would be the safest thing to do. Just like he couldn't have denied having a situation in the first place as Robert and Long would have told someone and he could have lost his job or something.**

 _"Are you sure it's not bothering you?" Long asked, but despite Leonard shaking his head the man refused to believe it. "Listen, I was a victim of a mugging myself a few years ago and I understand that it can make you a little wary and paranoid."_

 _Leonard continued to protest, wanting to prove that he was fine. However, after seeing he wasn't going to win, Leonard just fell silent and began returning the stares he was getting from Long. Eventually, the psychiatrist spoke._

 _"Tell me something that has happened to you recently. Besides the mugging of course."_

* * *

 _Leonard exited the building of the university, briefcase in hand. Yet again, he was comparing the differences between the universities he worked for. While the analog university had much better equipment, privileges and had given him tenure much to Sheldon's chagrin, Leonard has never been able to forgive it's strict rules about how he should dress in such constricting suits._

 _He began walking to his car, whistling the tune of the classic children show Professor Proton as he did. However, because of this small distraction, he did not see the leg sticking out from the bushes and thus accidentally stepped on hit._

 _"OWW! GET OFF!" a loud voice rang out, making Leonard jump away and collide with the back of a parked van. Thankfully, this did not cause any alarms to go off._

 _"What the hell do you think you were doing!? Are you blind!?" a man shouted at him, slumped down to the side of the university. If Leonard hadn't nearly tripped on him, the man would have remained hidden from view thanks to some bushes._

 _This man smelled, quiet simply, like a rubbish dump, with a bar or two thrown in there as well. There was no one on this planet who would disagree. The man was wearing a large green trench coat, which likely substituted for a blanket, and a dark green cap that partial covered his face. In his hands were too large bottles of whiskey, and both had been cleaned out of any alcohol._

 _"Well, I'm sorry. But I would like the point out that you sleeping here is probably not going to help you." Leonard told the man quickly, covering his nose slightly from the smell. And, after deciding to not give the man any money as he could tell he would only spend it on more alcohol, Leonard began to walk off._

 _"Oh, live long and suck it!" the drunk shouted after him, stopping the physicist in his tracks. Leonard slowly began to walk back and began to peer closer at the man in confusion, until he recognized the face hidden by all the dirt._

 _"Wil Wheaton?" Leonard asked, wondering how he could meet two people in the digital here in the analog living terrible lives._

 _"How do you know my name?" Wheaton asked suspiciously, as he looked inside one of the bottles he had, searching for more of the poison of his choice._

 _"The show! You know, Star Trek." Leonard replied, slightly panicked. Because of his unique condition, Leonard had decided to separate the shows he watched into ones he watched in the analog and the ones he watched in the digital. Unfortunately for him right now, Leonard had chosen to watch Star Trek: The Next Generation in the digital, so he had no idea what kind of response he would get from Wheaton._

 _"Star Trek! That's where it all went wrong. It became so terrible that it got cancelled, and now look at me!" he shouted at Leonard, who began looking around nervously in case someone was watching. The last thing he wanted was for other people to get involved and make things worse._

 _"Look, here's...twenty dollars." Leonard said finally, grabbing some cash from his wallet. "Go and get something to eat. Even with what you're wearing, I can tell you're only skin and bones."_

 _"Oh, I get what's happening here. You pity me and think you know what's best for me!" Wheaton said angrily, dragging himself up to his feet. "Well I don't need your pity! So go away and learn to mind your own business."_

 _Despite what he had just told Leonard to do, Wheaton began walking off. This lead to Leonard to call out to him._

 _"I thought you wanted me to leave?"_

 _"What did I say about telling me what to do!?" Wheaton shouted back to Leonard and quickly he had vanished from Leonard's view by disappearing into a crowd._

* * *

 **"Didn't you say before that you are friends with Will Wheaton?" Robert asked. "This is interesting."**

 **"Why is it interesting?"**

 **"It was easy to understand why your subconscious would choose that kind of life for Mr Kripke, as he wasn't a friend and you find him annoying. Yet you consider Wheaton a friend and I see little reason for you to want that kind of life for him."**

 _"It's always sad when good actors end up like that. Even more so when they die." Long said to Leonard, who nodded in response._

 _"So, anything happening in your dreams I should know about?"_

 _"No, nothing has happened recently. Nothing except the most important thing ever."_

 **"Is there anything I should know that's happened in reality Leonard?"**

 **"Well, there is one thing that happened a few days ago. I had literally just got back from New Jersey."**

* * *

 **Leonard walked up the steps of the building with his bag of clothes and supplies in one hand, it being very early in the morning** **. He wasn't sure because his phone had run out of battery, but judging by how dark it was and it was about a forty minute drive from here to the airport and he had to get the latest flight to from New Jersey, he would say it was about two in the morning.**

 **Beverly Rachel Hofstadter, née Baxter, had been buried in the same cemetery her parents had been buried in. Her funeral had been lacking in family members, as her two siblings Floyd and Nancy had passed away because of sickness and an accident respectively. So the only people to attend the funeral were her children and a few of the people who respected her and she had allow to become friends with her.**

 **His sister Tessa had mainly stuck to herself. According to Michael she and her husband Bill were going through some problem, so it was better to just leave her alone. Michael, Leonard's brother, had been with his wife Jasmine and had actually had a conversation with him. Leonard wasn't sure, but he was pretty sure that the last time they had such a long talk like that was when he was eight. He had even said the two of them should get together sometime and hang out, or at the very least stay in touch more. As he had been saying this, Leonard was both touched and wondering if Michael had been replaced by a robot.**

 **Finally, he reached the door to apartment 4A. As he opened the door however, Penny came dashing out. She ran straight pass him and began knocking loudly at the door of her old apartment,which was now home to Sheldon and Amy.**

 **"Penny, what's going on?" Leonard asked, letting his bag drop to the floor. Finally, after knocking for the sixth time, she turned round to see him.**

 **"Leonard, perfect timing. We got to hurry! Bernadette just called, she's gone into labour!"**

* * *

This might be my least favourite chapter so far, but I hope you like it. I do hope you enjoy how I gave a bit more information about how the alternate pilot reality is different from the canon reality. Please give me your thoughts on this!


	5. Chapter 5

While I always intended to do the story in this chapter, a recent review has made me add a few things to answer some questions about this fanfic. These questions are about why Leonard doesn't try to stay in the digital, where he is married to Penny. Hopefully this chapter will answer those questions.

* * *

 **"She's beautiful Bernadette." Penny told her friend as she smiled at newborn Halle Wolowitz. It has been nearly a week since her birth and the baby was sleeping soundly.**

 **"Yeah. You two did a great job." Leonard said as well, patting Howard on the back as he did.**

 **"Not really, since his mum's voice somehow got into her." Bernadette replied to the two of them, though everyone could tell that it was without any regret or bitterness. Instead, it was told with a voice of happiness.**

 **"You're right. That child's scream was horrific." Sheldon said as he stated at the baby, completely missing the tone of Bernadette's voice. "It was like Mrs Wolowitz had been reborn."**

 **Raj, Howard, Amy, Penny, Bernadette and Leonard just stared at Sheldon, who eventually realized what they were doing after a few seconds more of observing Halle. Despite his considerable intelligence, it took him a few seconds more to realize why they were doing it.**

 **"Wrong thing to say?" he asked Amy, who nodded in response. "Sorry Howard. Sorry Bernadette."**

 **"Well, does anyone want any coffee?" Leonard asked, hoping to get rid of the awkwardness Sheldon has created. Everyone, excluding Sheldon of course, nod and Penny quickly joins to help him.**

 **"Isn't she amazing?" Leonard asked Penny, who nodded in response.**

 **"Yeah, she is. I still can't believe creepy Howard is the biological father of my friend's daughter." Penny told him, grabbing the coffee mugs from the cupboards. However, she suddenly stops and looks at him. "Don't you start getting any ideas Hofstadter."**

 **"What?"**

 **"I know you sweetie, you're into babies and everything. And I might like to have a kid one day, but just because we're married and this has happened doesn't mean we have to go and have one right now. Okay."**

 **"Okay." Leonard responded.**

 **"I wouldn't leave it too late. Your biological clock is ticking." Sheldon shouted towards them, making everyone raise their heads.**

 **"How did you hear us!? We weren't talking that loud!" Penny replied.**

 **"Just as I am too evolved for driving, I have evolved to having a superior sense of hearing." Sheldon answered smugly, earning groans from everyone else.**

* * *

 _Leonard wasn't sure why he decided to visit her today. Maybe it was because Halle had been born that his thoughts drifted to her and her son, and he realized he hadn't seen her for awhile. While they weren't as close as they were in the digital, he would be wrong to say they weren't friends._

 _He had found out Bernadette worked at the cheesecake factory by complete accident. He had simply been out on a walk with Gilda about two years ago_ _, who at the time was having trouble after her break up with captain sweatpants, when he saw the building and realized he had never been there in this world. Deciding that Gilda needed something to eat, he took her inside and they sat down, only to be greeted by Bernadette._

 _Since then, he has become a regular customer at the cheesecake factory here in the analog, and overtime has developed a friendly relationship with Bernadette. While it's not the same as it is the digital, he is happy that he can in some way be friends more than version of his friends, like he is with Sheldon._

 _"Hi Leonard. How you doing?" she asked as she walked up to him, putting her notebook and pen in her uniform. She doesn't need to bother with taking note of what he wants, as he always orders the same thing._

 _"I'm good Bernadette. What about you? How's Billy?" Leonard replied, referring of course to her twelve year old son._

 _"Tying to build a nuclear reactor so he can supply free electricity for me and all his friends." she answered with a smile. "I've tried to explain that he can't possibly do that."_

 _"Oh, it's not impossible. I'll keep an eye on any sites he goes on using the computer." Leonard told her, his face deadly serious. "I have a roommate who tried to do the same thing, and the government had to have a serious talk to him about how he can't story yellowcake uranium in his shed."_

 _Bernadette just stared at him for a minute, her mouth open slightly in confusion. "Are you serious?"_

 _"It is scary how easy it is for a crazy child genius to buy radioactive minerals in Texas." Leonard replied, wondering to himself why that event was something both Sheldon's had happen to them. "I once found him hacking into the government's defense system just so he can keep an eye on one of his girlfriend's many ex-boyfriends."_

 _"Ok, I'm starting to see you're serious about this, so wouldn't you're roommate be in prison?" Bernadette asked hesitantly, shocked by this information._

 _"No, they have a codename for him. He's Facebook friends with about half the people who worked on that defense system. He claims to have an ongoing game of chess online with the secretary of defense. I very much don't doubt that claim."_

 _"Okay, I want everything to go back to normal, so you want your usual?" Bernadette asked him, and Leonard nodded._

 _As she walked off, Leonard thought about her son Billy. Leonard couldn't think of any kind he knew that was smarter than that kid. He was a genius, and the best thing was that he was actually humble about it. Unlike Sheldon, who liked to brag about himself every second of every day, Billy knew he was smart but did nothing to make himself seem superior._

 _He met Billy about four months ago, when Bernadette had asked him to keep an eye on her son for a few minutes before she finishes work. Leonard had at first been surprised by this, not thinking that he and Bernadette had developed that kind of friendship in this reality, but had obviously agreed. In seconds he found that the kid was the school genius, the school athlete and the coolest kid in school all rolled into one. Leonard had never felt jealous at a kid before, but it didn't bother him as much as he thought it would have._

 _Bernadette returned carrying his food, and Leonard smiled as he continued his conversation with her. "So, how's life been treating you?"_

 _"Okay. Actually, I'm glad you came in today. I was worried I wouldn't get a chance to tell you."_

 _"What do you mean?" Leonard asked, confusion setting in._

 _"I've completed my studies and I got my place of work all set up. Starting next week, I won't be a cheesecake waitress, I'll me a massage therapist." Bernadette told him with a smile._

 _If years of living a double life has taught him anything, it's how to lie. Or at least hide what he was feeling. So despite the sadness he felt by this turn of events, Leonard forced a smile onto his face._

* * *

 **"Can I ask you a question?"**

 **"If you want." Leonard replied.**

 **"Why don't you try to stay here?" Her question took Leonard by surprise and for a moment he was lost for words.**

 **"What do you mean?" Leonard asked, wondering and slightly fearing where she was taking this conversation.**

 **"You claim to love your wife. You claim to not want to be without your friends. Yet you always return to your dreams. Why would you choose to return to a world where all evidence suggests none of you're friends are happy?"**

 **"Bernadette's happy. She has an amazing son and loves the life she has." Leonard protested, but instantly realized his mistake.**

 **"Yes, I plan to explore that little fact at a later date."**

 _"Tell me, what happens if you stay awake for two days before going to sleep. Does it force you to live a day ahead of your dreams?" Long questioned him._

 _"I tried it once. I tried pretty much everything. If I stay awake for longer than a day, when I finally fall asleep I can't switch until it's the same time in the...in my dreams I mean." Leonard answered._

 **"Look, can I be straight with you?" he asked after a few seconds of silence, and Robert gestured for him to continue. "I've met Gilda and Katie here."**

 **"So you've started to have hallucinations." Robert asked slowly.**

 **"If I'm able to hallucinate that many swear words, a bunch people that see Katie yelling at me, an address and a house where Gilda lives, and even more people who can talk to Gilda, that I have to say that my imagination is ridiculously good."**

 **"Well, what else can they be?" Robert asked him.**

 _"Have you tried anything to get control of your dreams? There have been proven cases of methods to control your dreams."_

 _"Look, I've tried everything that has ever been thought of. I looked everything up that could have possibly helped. Nothing happened. These dreams are something I can't control." Leonard told him. "Don't you think I've tried to find ways to control when it happens? Or even how to stop it from happening?"_

 **"Can you please, just give me this answer to a hypothetical scenario?"**

 **"Okay." Robert replied, herself looking slightly surprised by the question.**

 **"What if I'm not dreaming? What if, somehow, my dreams are real. If I somehow somehow found a way to stay here, what happens to the other world? What happens to all the people whose lives are better there than they are here? And what happens to the people who don't even exist here?"**

 _"After a few years of this, I began to struggle with living two lives. With having a week that lasted fourteen days, a year that lasted twenty-four months. Two grades on my research paper every Christmas! So I began researching ways to try and control what was happening to me. I mean, I figured that at least one of these world's had to be a dream, so lucid dreaming should work on one."_

 _"But nothing happened?" Long asked, despite knowing the answer._

 _"No." Leonard replied. "After awhile, I decided to just get on with it and slowly I adapted to it. I just accepted that it was something that I couldn't control, or stop. And by then, I kind of didn't care that I was going to have them."_

 _As Long stared at him, fiddling with his pen, Leonard hoped he had kept his face straight. He didn't want Long to notice that he was holding a bit of information back. Because the truth is that he stopped because he finally accepted that his "dreams" we're real. It took him two years, but he finally accepted the fact that somehow, he was living two lives in two alternate universes. Because he knew that dreams could never be that realistic, have that much detail, all that real knowledge that he never learned in "reality"._

 **"But they're not real Dr Hofstadter. You're dreams aren't real. The only affect they have on your real life is that they could be causing harm to you." Robert protested. "Surely you can't want that?"**

 **"What I want? You have no idea what I want. I want to be able to fix things with my mother. I want Kripke and Will to live the happy lives they have here. I want Leslie Winkle to be alive in that other place. I want all those people who exist here and exist in the other place to all be alive, including my youngest sister, who doesn't exist here!"**

 **Before Robert could talk, Leonard continued. "But most importantly, I want to walk into my apartment and find my real family there. Sheldon, by best friend and the only person I really consider my brother, regardless if he's a crazy robot or an absolute sex addict. Gilda and Katie, two people who have literally saved my life. Raj, Howard, Bernadette and Amy, who appeared in my life out of chance yet I never want them to be gone. And Penny, the love of my life, who I want to be with forever."**

 **Leonard took a breath, shaking slightly. "Don't you get it. Even if I could choose to stay here, with Penny, without living another life, it would take a lot to make me do it. Because I would be losing so much. I would be losing so many people who have helped me and, without realizing it, helped me stay in control of my whole life. Call me crazy if you must, but understand that if this is the only way I can be with all the people I love, then I'll happily give up anything so I can keep it."**

* * *

 _"What are we doing here? We never eat here?" Sheldon questioned._

 _"Well, we agreed that today I get to pick where we eat." Leonard told him. The two of them, along with Katie and Gilda, were sitting at a table in the cheesecake factory. In fact, it's the same table where he used to usually sit with his friends when Penny worked here in the digital._

 _"I know, but the cheesecake factory?" Katie asked, looking worried. "You do remember the great lactose sickness of '09 right?"_

 _"I thought we agreed to not call it that?" Leonard asked with a small glare._

 _"You agreed, but we didn't." Gilda told him._

 _"That doesn't even make sense." Leonard protested, when Bernadette arrived._

 _"Hey Leonard."_

 _"Hi Bernadette." he replied, smiling at her. "These are my friends. That guy there is the one I told you about."_

 _"The one who hacked the government's defense system?" she asked, looking at Sheldon, who in turn stared at Leonard in confusion._

 _"Yep."_

 _Bernie looked like she wanted to say something to Leonard's roommate, before turning back to Leonard. "So, you want your usual?"_

 _"Yes please. What are you guys having?" Leonard asked his friends, who were moving their heads back and forth between Leonard and Bernadette. Eventually, they all mumbled to Bernadette that they'll have what he's having._

 _"So, that's why you're not dating anyone." Katie said once Bernadette had left, an amused look on her face. "You're too busy putting the moves on the pretty waitress."_

 _"What?"_

 _"Oh come on! It was so obvious she liked you!" Gilda told him, earning a look of surprise from Leonard._

 _"Even I saw it." Sheldon added._

 _"You guys are crazy. Bernadette doesn't..." Suddenly, as if a fog had been lifted, everything become clear. The way she talked to him or acted around him. How she was nearly always the waitress who served him, and even if she wasn't she always talked to him. As everything fell into place, he found he could say only two words to respond to this information._

 _"Oh shit."_

* * *

I hope you like how I've introduced the analog Bernadette into the story and I hope this has answered any questions you may have. I'm planning to start introducing the analog version of the main characters, but before anyone says anything, I won't be having Penny appearing soon. But anyway, if you have a preference to which character you want to see next, just say so.


	6. Chapter 6

**Leonard was pacing across the room, fiddling with his fingers anxiously. Robert simply watched him with anticipation, obviously wanting to know what was going through his head. Leonard stopped for a second and opened his mouth, wanting to say something, but lost his nerve and continued pacing across the room.**

 _Long watched Leonard pace across the room, who was fiddling with his fingers anxiously, while the fifty-three year old psychiatrist watched him with fascination. Leonard stopped for a second and opened his mouth, wanting to say something, but lost his nerve and continued pacing across the room._

 _ **"Is there a problem Leonard?" his therapist asked kindly.**_

 _ **"Yes there's a problem. The problem is that I'm in hell! I've never believed that such a place existed, but I'm there!" Leonard said with a raised voice, though it was not with anger. "Well, technically I have a part time residency in two different versions of hell, but that doesn't make it any easier because both are driving me crazy!"**_

 ** _Leonard gave a look at his therapist, pulling at his hair slightly. His therapist went to speak, but Leonard instantly cut them off by continuing to talk._** _ **"Look, I had finally found a way to bring my two lives closer together. It was comforting to see someone else besides Sheldon who I knew in both places. But then, somehow, I became like those girls from high school who made me do all their homework, except in my case it wasn't intentional and no one did my homework! And now, it is destroying both of my lives because she is in both!"**_

 _ **"Calm down and tell me what's wrong!" his therapist told him forIcefully , and Leonard slowly complied by sitting down.**_

 **"Now Leonard, why don't you explain what's gotten you in such a fuss?" Robert asked him. However, that instantly made Leonard go crazy again.**

 **"A fuss! Uhh no, this is not a fuss! A fuss is what Sheldon does when he gets a bad review on his stupid fun with boats web series. No, this is world war three, the apocalypse, and Penny asking for a divorce all rolled into one giant and impossible hell!"**

 **Robert was quiet for a moment, her face frowning in confusion. "I thought Sheldon's web series was called fun with flags. Yes, I'm sure that's what it's called. My nephew loves it."**

 **"Flags, boats, it doesn't matter! No matter what world I'm in, his web series is terrible, that's the one thing I can count on to never change. Now can we get back to the fact that I'm in hell?"**

 _"What's troubling you Leonard?"_

 _Leonard hesitated for a second, unsure what he should say. "My friends have pointed out that this girl at the cheesecake factory likes me."_

 _"Likes you."_

 _"Yeah, you know. Likes me more than a friend."_

 _"Oh. Well that's good!" Long said with happiness. "It's a way for you to connect yourself more to reality."_

 _"No! This is the opposite to good! This is bad on so many levels. This is way off the bad scale, hell this breaks the scale!" Leonard protested, before realizing that Long didn't know why it was so bad. "I don't like her in that way. She's just a friend."_

 **"Why didn't I see this coming? I mean, my eyesight is better over there. Like, much better! Or I thought it was." Leonard said to himself, ignoring the look of confusion from Robert. However, he eventually stopped and stared at her. "Any advice."**

 **"Yes." Robert said slowly. "Why don't you start from the beginning, instead at the end, and explain what is wrong?"**

 **"You know my friend Bernadette? Well, in that other life, she likes me in a romantic way! Now, you help me by giving me advice!" Leonard told her, practically begging her to give him a miracle.**

 **But instead, as he should have expected, she gave him as much help Sheldon would be in a fight. "Why do you believe that has happened in you're dreams?"**

 **Leonard sank into the chair he was on in despair.**

 _"Well, why don't you just sit this girl down and have a proper talk with her. She'll understand." Long said simply, earning a look of pure annoyance and hopelessness from Leonard._

 _"I wish I had the other one here." the theoretical physicist said, causing Long to become confused._

 _"The other one? Do you mean that therapist in your dreams? What was her name...Bella Robert?"_

 _"Yes! You're no help whatsoever, while she doesn't take me seriously because she thinks this is all a dream! If I had her hear and you over there, these sessions might be useful!"_

* * *

 **Leonard walked up to his letter box, his thoughts drifting to Bernadette. Of course, not the Bernadette of this world. The one who wanted him to be all romantic with her. The very thought of it sent shivers down Leonard's spine. Not once has he ever thought about Bernadette that way, not once in years has he ever not thought of her as the competitive and sometimes scary but good hearted sister he always wanted, yet now he was dealing with this? It was like the universe, or in his unique case universes, were giving him a sign telling him to only have Sheldon as the one constant in both lives.**

 **Leonard shook his head, wondering why things just couldn't be simple, and got out the letters in the letter box. From what he felt, there were at least five, but that fact quickly became irrelevant. It became irrelevant when he turned around to see Penny, Amy and Bernadette enter through the doors of the building, and in fear he threw the letters into the air and leaped backwards. He slammed against the wall hard as his eyes grew wide, and the guilt he shouldn't feel grew bigger.**

 **"Leonard? What's wrong?" Penny asked with worry, but that only made the guilt grow bigger. He shouldn't be feeling guilt, but even unknowingly leading on an alternate version of Bernadette made him think he was cheating on his wife.**

 **"No, no, nothing is wrong! Everything is just dandy!" Leonard replied quickly, but instantly began hating himself as the words left his lips. When had he ever said dandy? He might as well wear a shirt with the words "I'm a lier" on it.**

 **"Just dandy? Okay something's wrong, tell me what's wrong!" Penny told him, but Leonard was instead looking for an escape route. He saw it when Howard came in, and the second the door was open enough Leonard made a dash for it.**

* * *

 _"Hi Leonard."_

 _Leonard froze, his hand still on the handle of his apartment door, and stared at Bernadette, who was sitting on the sofa next to Katie and Gilda. On the table was Chinese food, while Sheldon was slowly unpacking the rest from the bag._

 _"What...What are you doing here Bernadette?" Leonard asked nervously, hoping to make it sound casual._

 _"Oh, well Gilda and Katie came by and asked if I would like to hang out. And since Billy was round a friend's house I thought why not." she answered, resulting in Leonard shooting quick glares at his two female friends when Bernadette turned away and had a chip._

 _"Well, that is great. Really great. You see-" Leonard began, until Bernadette's phone made a beeping noise. She took one look at it, as it was obviously a text, and she groaned before standing up and picking up her stuff._

 _"Sorry. That bitch of a mother Billy's friend has didn't show up after their soccer game. I got to get them." she told them, before looking at Katie and Gilda. "Raincheck?"_

 _"You got it girlfriend!" Katie told her with a smile, and Bernadette made her way towards the door._

 _"I'll see you soon Leonard." she told him, giving him the same small and shy smile she always gave him only now he knew the it's true meaning, before she left. After he was sure the elevator had gone down low enough, Leonard slammed the door in anger, making his friends jump._

 _"What were you thinking! Inviting Bernadette over for dinner!" Leonard shouted, earning odd looks from the three of them. "Are you trying to destroy my life!?"_

 _"No, we are trying to get you a girlfriend." Gilda replied. "I mean, surely that's why you went there so much. We thought you liked her and you were just struggling to ask her out."_

 _"No! That's the exact opposite of what was happening. She's just a friend." Leonard told them, before turning to stare at Sheldon for aid. "Why didn't you stop them?"_

 _"I couldn't." Sheldon replied simply, though this only aggravated Leonard even more._

 _"You couldn't! How couldn't you? It's in the revised roommate agreement of 2012. As it says in section twenty-six, subsection D, paragraph five, as my roommate you are obligated to prevent them who don't need to be named from getting involved in my love life. Just like I'm obligated to provide a costume for you if you get superpowers!"_

 _Sheldon beamed at Leonard with pride, and everyone could see the beginnings of tears growing in his eyes. "You remembered the roommate agreement. Finally, fourteen years of trying to teach you it has actually paid off. It doesn't seem like a huge waste of time anymore. You know, I've had a bottle of wine stored away for a special occasion. This is the perfect time for it."_

 _"Hey!" Leonard yelled, grabbing Sheldon's attention. "You know I'm right. Why didn't you stop them."_

 _"Well, I tried, but Katie stopp me. She said that if I didn't stop them she would let me do that thing she never lets me do with her tonight."_

 _Leonard stared at Sheldon, before looking at a now blushing Katie. "Okay, I don't want to know what he's talking about. What I want to know is why you think doing this is okay."_

 _"Because we worry Leonard!" Katie finally screamed. "For years you've always seemed...distant, like you're not always here. And sometimes you say or do things that don't make sense and then you fainted at the university!"_

 _Leonard was being more silent than he had ever been before, but before he could say anything Katie interrupted him. "Do you have any idea how scared we were when that happened? Sheldon nearly had a heart attack when it happened and wouldn't leave you're side! And you won't tell us what happened, or even why it happened!"_

 _"I told you there's nothing-" he began to reply, but was then cut off by Katie._

 _"Nothing to worry about? Oh yeah, our friend feinted and ends up in a hospital for a week and then gets a therapist. Sure, there's nothing wrong." Katie said angrily, and it was only then that Leonard saw the tears forming. "Leonard, we thought you were going to die! The doctors didn't know what was wrong with you, and when the doctors have no idea what's going on you panic!_

 _Leonard looked down to his feet. For he has had this conversation before in the digital, with Penny. And just like Katie, she couldn't stop crying. And just like now, he couldn't tell the truth. He couldn't tell any of them about his alternate life, just like he couldn't tell his wife or any of his other friends. Because they would never believe him and would think he was crazy. Because it would risk destroying his friendship with them._

 _"Katie, I..." Leonard hesitated, trying to figure out what he should say. "Look, I know you guys are worried. I get that. But I need you to trust me when I tell you that nothing is wrong. You should all know me well enough to know that I would never lie to any of you about that."_

 _No one spoke for a few moments, before Katie did. "Okay."_

 _"Okay?" Leonard said, saying the same thing after she had nodded._ _Once Sheldon and Gilda had nodded, Leonard happily sat down to eat his food._

 _"But you should know that me and Gilda like Bernadette." Katie told him. "We've already arranged a girls night out with her. So when you tell her you only like her simply as a friend, could you be nice about it?"_

 _"That's what I was going to do. I would love it if she hanged out with us." Leonard replied, earning a smile from his two female friends._

 _"Well, I better go and ask if our new neighbor wants this extra food." Sheldon said suddenly, picking up the food that was meant to be Bernadette's. "Like you said honey, we need to be social."_

 _"Wait, the new neighbor is here?" Leonard asked, slightly interested._

 _"Yeah. It is so funny. He's from India and can't speak if a girl is there. Gilda and me absolutely love it!" Katie told him as her best friend and herself got to their feet. "Wait for me and Gilda Shelley!"_

 _"You know I hate that name!" Sheldon told her as he opened and then closed the door once they were out. Leonard meanwhile was about to eat when what Katie said really registered in his brain. This resulted in him dropping his food onto the table quickly and dashing to the door, opening it so fast he was a blur. And he was rewarded with the door across the hall being opened by none other than Rajesh Koothrapali, who instantly was unable to speak upon laying eyes on Gilda and Katie._

* * *

 ** _"Why haven't you told any of your friends about your dreams?"_**

 _"Oh yeah, great idea. Yeah, I'll just tell my ex girlfriend, by sex addicted roommate and seriously superstitious roommate that I live an alternate life when I sleep. Sure, that won't freak them out."_

 **"That's an ingenious plan. I'll tell my wife, all my scientific friends, and my best friend who would likely bring out that book my mother had written that I live an alternate life when I sleep. They'll just accept it easily, no problems or freak outs whatsoever."**

 **"But surely you want to tell them? Wouldn't you want their support?"**

 _"Surely the stress of keeping this a secret is overwhelming?_

 _"Look, it's just..." Leonard said, unsure if he should tell him._

 **"Come on Leonard, I know you want to tell me." Robert said to him, causing Leonard to sag down into the chair in agreement.**

 **"How would they react? If I told them, they would know that I've managed to lie to them for years. They might stop trusting me."**

 _Long was silent for a moment, obviously thinking of something, before thinking. "Do you think they would stop trusting you because you don't really trust them."_

 _"Hey! I trust them!"_

 _"Then why haven't you told them?"_

 **Robert could tell that Leonard didn't want to talk about the subject anymore, so she asked the same question she asked many of her patients to try and make these sessions useful. "Has anything interesting happened in recently?"**

 **"Here or in that other place?"**

 **"Either."**

 **Leonard hesitated before speaking, but then decided there was no harm in speaking about it. "Well, Raj has moved across the hall in my dreams."**

 **"Really? That is an interesting development. Do you suppose that it has something to do with how you're relationship with Bernadette in you're dreams has changed?"**

 **Leonard took a deep breath, acknowledging to himself that he should have seen that Robert would have made in answer lead back to his problem with Bernadette. "Look, unless you are going to give me some advice about that, can we please don't talk about it?"**

 **"Leonard, dreams have always been a way for our subconscious to tel us what we don't consciously know. In you're dreams Bernadette has developed a romantic interest in you. You have to realize what this tells us about how you really feel about Bernadette."**

 **"Oh god, please don't say anything more about this! I love Penny. Bernadette is like a sister to me. There is no way me and her would ever, ever be together. Alright?"**

 _"How has things been going with that girl who likes you?" Long asked, earning a groan from Leonard._

 _"I only like her as a friend." Leonard told him. "I just need to figure out how to tell her that without hurt her feelings."_

 _"Just tell her the truth. Honesty is always the best policy."_

 _"Oh come on! You can't be that naive." Leonard responded. "That only works in television or books or whatever."_

 _"Leonard." Long said forcefully, grabbing the physicists attention. "Have you got any other ideas about how you will fix this? Because right now you have two choices: you either tell her the truth the best way you can and hope it doesn't ruin you're friendship, or you drag it out by trying to think of a better plan when there isn't one, and you completely ruin you're friendship with this woman. So, what's it going to be?"_

* * *

 _"Come on Leonard. You can do this." Leonard told himself as he stared at Bernadette, who was taking people's orders. But he had been saying that for the last forty-six minutes, with twenty of them when he was in the cheesecake factory. And now he could feel his confidence finally begin to run out and he was edging towards the exit._

 _But it was at that moment that Bernadette spotted him. Leonard froze, torn between growing up and talking to her like a mature adult and running away like a scared child. Unfortunately, he wasn't able to make a decision as Bernadette and edit for him when she walked over._

 _"What are you doing here?"_

 _Leonard gulped, for the first time in a long time before speaking. "Okay, I can do this. Bernadette, I have something really important to tell you. And I'm really scared of saying it, but it needs to be said."_

 _"Okay..." she responded, obviously looking unsure._

 _Leonard took a deep breath. "I know you like me romantically."_

 _Upon saying those words, Bernadette's confused expression shifted to one of panic and fear, one he himself has had before when someone he liked revealed they knew he did. In that situation, it resulted in a lot of shame and teasing. Bernadette opened her mouth to speak, but Leonard interrupted her._

 _"Let me say what I need to say. Please." Eventually, she nodded. "Bernadette you are an amazing mum. The best I've ever known. You are a good person_ _and a Greta friend. But that's all I see you as. A friend. And it's because of that friendship that I'm telling you this."_

 _"I'll be honest. I considered just avoiding you because I was so scared. But then I saw that despite only knowing them for a little while, Gilda and Katie really liked you. And I don't want this to affect them, I don't want this to hurt you. So, I came to tell you the truth. I apologize if I, in anyway, led you on and made you think I felt the same way. If_ _you think we can get through this, I will happily continue to be you're friend. If not, I'm so sorry for doing this to you. It was never my intention to cause you any pain."_

 _Leonard grew silent, awaiting Bernadette's answer with hope and fear. Hope because he might still have her friendship. Fear because he now risked losing it. But as he saw Bernadette begin to speak, he knew that her answer was going to affect him forever._

* * *

I hope you enjoyed this chapter and how I've introduced Raj into the story. I considered having Leonard interact with him in this chapter, but I've decided that I will do that in the next chapter. Tell me what you think and tell me if you see any spelling errors!


	7. Chapter 7

_"I don't give you enough credit!" Leonard shouted as he closed the door, a smile on his face. "Seriously, I'm considering giving you two hundred dollars because you're so good!_

 _Long stared at Leonard in surprise, obviously shocked by the happiness Leonard was showing. "While I do enjoy being praised, I do prefer knowing why I'm being praised."_

 _"Oh right! Sorry!" Leonard replied, restraining himself from hugging Long as he sat down. "You're advice about that waitress from the cheesecake factory. I listened to it and everything is perfect!"_

 _"Really?" Long asked with a frown. "I honestly thought that wouldn't work. I mean, when has that ever worked?"_

 _Leonard froze and stared at Long, his face filled with mix emotions before he exploded. "You gave me bad advice on something as serious as that!"_

 **"So, how have things been in your dreams?"**

 **"Good. After I was honest to Bernadette, things are better." he answered, hoping she won't bring up their previous discussion about him and Bernadette. "I mean, it's a little awkward, but you know, we're working through it. Strangely Gilda and Katie have proven themselves helpful in making it less awkward."**

 **"Interesting." Robert mumbled. However, when Leonard didn't say anything, she looked at him expectantly for a moment before speaking. "Aren't you going to ask me what's so interesting?"**

 **"I don't need to. I know what you would say." Leonard replied. "You will go on about how that somehow means I like Bernadette, or how she only accepted it so well because I mentally forced it to end so well."**

 **Robert was quite for a moment before speaking. "Am I that predictable?"**

 **"Sort of. Sorry."**

 **"No need to apologize. But can I ask you a question Leonard? Something's been bugging me since we first started these sessions and I've only just realized what it is." she asked.**

 **"Sure."**

 **"How can you not know when you're asleep or awake?" Robert questioned, and quickly continued when Leonard frowned in confusion. "I mean, surely common sense dictates that if you live a day twice, once in reality and then again in your dreams, surely the first time you experience that day is reality."**

 **Leonard let out a sigh, shaking his head. "You keep forgetting that this isn't recent. I've been dealing with this since I was eleven years old. I've already considered that idea. I mean, it was one of the first things I considered. But after awhile I realized that, because everything seemed so real, I could be dreaming of the next day before waking up and actually living it."**

 **"But that's a bit of a stretch, surely?"**

 **"Maybe. But let's say that's the truth." Leonard said as he stared at, eye to eye. "If that's true, it means this is the dream."**

 **"Pardon?" Robert asked simply, obviously not expecting that answer.**

 **"If it was the start of a new week, I would experience Monday first in that other world. Then I would got to sleep and wake up here on a Monday." Leonard told her, his face serious. "If I really experience reality and then dream of the same day, that means this world is fake."**

 _"Has anything knew happened in your life?"_

 _"Well, a new guy has moved across the hall." Leonard told him, making sure to avoid helping Long realize he was talking about this reality's Raj. "He seemed very...withdrawn I guess."_

 _"Have you tried to communicate with him?"_

 _"Obviously. Just a few days ago me and Stuart went out for a drink with the guy."_

 _"Stuart?" Long asked._

 _"Right, I don't think I've actually mentioned him before. He's Gilda's boyfriend" Leonard answered. "He's in my dreams as well, except there he's the owner of a comic book store."_

 _"May I ask where you met him?"_

 _Leonard knew what that question actually meant, and so he answered truthfully. "While it was only briefly, way before he started dating Gilda, I met Stuart here before I met him in my dreams."_

 _Long just smile, as if that proved something, before nodding to Leonard. "So tell me what the three of you did. You, Staurt and this new guy...What's his name?"_

 _"Raj." Leonard said after some hesitation, before quickly lying. "Not the same Raj obviously. But anyway, me and Sheldon were playing three dimensional chess in our apartment."_

* * *

 _Leonard glared at his roommate, staring straight into his eyes. Sheldon stared back, trying to hide the fear in his eyes. Yet Leonard could see it. He could see the nervousness and anxiety holding Sheldon back, as he slowly but surely moved a chess piece. Leonard could see the desperation as he let go of it to wait for Leonard's move. A_ _nd Leonard made his move swiftly, moving his knight near Sheldon's piece._

 _"Checkmate!" Sheldon shouted, as Sheldon groaned in annoyance._

 _"How do you keep beating me!?" Sheldon asked. "My IQ is higher than yours!"_

 _"I honestly don't know. I wish I knew the reason, but I honestly don't know." Leonard replied with a grin._

 _"Well I'll tell you the reason." Sheldon said, getting up to walk towards the kitchen. "My father always made me learn how to fight, even when I was nineteen and way past the age where I can choose not to. So I never had the time to play chess growing up."_

 _"My response to that is two things. One, because of him you can win a fight against a lightweight boxer." Leonard told him, with Sheldon slowly nodding in agreement as both of them recalled that fight._

 _"And two, you can't blame your father for you sucking on so many levels." Leonard said with a smile, gesturing to all three levels of 3D chess. Sheldon glared at him for a few seconds, before storming off to his room._

 _After Leonard had packed the chess getaway, there was a knock at the door. Still smiling from beating Sheldon, Leonard answered it. His smile immediately fell as Stuart waltzed right inside, an arrogant grin on his face and shades on his eyes, while Leonard felt a bad sense of foreboding._

 _"Hi Leo! How you doing dog!" Stuart asked, while Leonard resisted the impulse to strangle the bastard._

 _"Fine Stuart. And my name's Leonard. I would prefer it if you called me that for once."_

 _"Sure thing Lenny!" Stuart replied with a smirk as Leonard closed the door._

 _"Gilda's not here you know. She's out with Katie on a girl's night." Leonard told him, desperately wanting to get rid of him._

 _"I know, but I decided that it's about time I taught you how to live." Stuart told him, and Leonard instantly felt that foreboding feeling become worse._

 _"Uhh, thanks but I'll pass." Leonard replied, opening the door quickly and gesturing for him to get out, knowing that he doesn't want Staurt to stay here any longer than he already has._

 _"Larry, my man." Stuart said with his arms out, as if inviting Leonard to hug him. "We're both young-"_

 _"No, you are a forty-two year old man who is dating my thirty-five year old friend, while I'm a thirty-seven year old guy who just wants to finish off the night by watching Daredevil 2."_

 _"-good looking fellas who deserve, yes deserve, to go out and have some fun." Stuart continued, ignoring Leonard. "Now grab you're best coat and put on a better shirt, because I'm going to teach you how to pick up girls."_

 _"No, you're not."_

 _"Hey." a voice said suddenly, and Leonard turned to see Raj having exited the elevator, staring at them. "I don't want to be rude or anything, but can you have your door closed when you have arguments. People don't tend to like seeing them. Unless they're horrible people."_

 _"Right sorry." Leonard said quickly, not wanting to ruin a possibility of becoming friends with this version of Raj. Ever since he had learned that his friend was living across the hall from him, Leonard had desperately been trying to find ways to start a friendship with him._

 _"Who are you?" Stuart asked Raj._

 _"My name's Raj. I've just moved across the hall."_

 _"Well then Raj, congratulations." Stuart said suddenly, and both Leonard and Raj looked at him in confusion. "You are one of the lucky few who I choose to become by pupils. I shall teach you how to pick up some babes tonight, and soon you may be half as good as me."_

 _"Yeah, I'll pass thank you." Raj said slowly, turning to walk away._

 _"Me too. Goodbye Stuart." Leonard said, again gesturing for Stuart to leave._

 _However, Stuart simply smirked. "I assure you, the two of you are going out to a bar with me tonight."_

* * *

 **"Then what happened?" Robert asked him.**

 **Leonard let out a sigh that was a mixture of annoyance, confusion and amazement as he thought about the analog Staurt. "I don't know how he did it. Seriously, I can barely understand how he got me to step outside my apartment. But somehow he got me and Raj to come with him to some bar."**

 **"Is Stuart like that here in reality?"**

 **"God no!" Leonard said with a chuckle. "Stuart here is the exact opposite to the Stuart over there. I mean, the exact opposite. I mean, here Stuart's pale complexion makes him look dead. In my dreams, he somehow pulls it off and makes himself look like some sort of movie star."**

 **"Why do you suppose he is like that?" Robert asked. "Is it possible he represents everything you wish you could be?"**

 **"What!? No way!"**

 **"Why not?" Robert asked, apparently fascinated by his answer.**

 **"Okay, in my dreams Stuart is fun and I can get a good story by hanging out with him. Half the time he is almost an alright guy." Leonard began, struggling how to say the next sentence. "He's just such a..."**

 **Robert waited patiently for a few moments before speaking. "You've just trailed off."**

 **"I know. I'm just struggling to find a word that both gives you an idea of the kind of person he is and yet has been sugarcoated enough that it doesn't offend anyone who hears it." Leonard replied, his face showing how much he was thinking. "You know what, I'm just going to settle on the word douche. Yeah, he's the world's biggest douche."**

 **"How come?"**

 **"He's just so full of himself. I mean, I don't know why Gilda even likes him. The things he says border on sexism and the objectification of women. Seriously, I once saw him flirt with two girls despite being in the same room as Gilda. She just doesn't listen to me and Katie when I tell her how bad he is."**

 **"And Stuart isn't like that here?"**

 **"No. The Stuart here make look a little like a creep sometimes, but he's one of the kindest guys I've ever met. If I could get Gilda and him to meet, they would be perfect for each other. Gilda would teach him to become more confident, and Stuart would treat her how she's suppose to be treated."**

 **"Well, what happened next."**

* * *

 _"I can't believe he got me down here." Leonard muttered, as he looked around at all the twenty-one to twenty-nine year olds scattered around the bar they were in. Meanwhile, Raj was glancing around anxiously and obviously full of fear, as if he would have a heart attack if a girl even talked to him._

 _"Okay students. First things first, I need to no what I'm dealing with." Stuart told him as he arrived carrying three beers, before putting them on the table near them. Suddenly, he walked over to the girl closest to them, and quickly grabbed her attention. "Excuse me, have you met my friend Raj?"_

 _"Umm, no." she said in response, turning to look at Raj, who Stuart had been pointing at when he had spoke to the girl. Leonard grimaced and looked away while grabbing one of the beers Stuart brought over, knowing what was coming._

 _While Leonard didn't look to see the expressions on their faces, he heard the sound coming from Raj as he tried to speak. It was squeaky like a dog whimpering, and it almost broke Leonard's heart as he heard the woman walk away from Raj, the physicist feeling so much pity for Raj. Eventually however, Leonard moved his head up to see the look of despair and embarrassment on Raj's face and the look of utter bafflement on Stuart's._

 _"Wow. I may have actually met my match with you." Stuart said as he looked at Raj, fascination in his eyes, as if he's found a new toy._ _Leonard simply shook his head, wondering how he was going to kill the time. As he began figuring out a way to convince Stuart let him go home, even if it would cost his own dignity, he saw her._

 _He almost dropped the beer in his hand, but someone he managed to retain his grip on it. She was evidently hanging out with some friends, though he has never seen them before. Suddenly, and without warning, she started walking away with her friends, talking about something that he couldn't hear due to how far he was from her. Without thinking of a way to explain why to Stuart and Raj, Leonard put his beer back on the table and made a dash after her, not thinking about the consequences of this decision._

 _But there were too many people. Not enough space to move around. He tried pushing through the crowds, but he only realized after getting through it would have been faster to go around. But he ignored that fact and ran to the front door of the bar, exiting quickly before looking around the street. But it was too late. Penny had vanished without a trace._

* * *

 _"Leonard? Are you okay?"_

 _The physicist looked up to face Long, realizing he had trailed off before he had spoken about Penny. Which was good, as he didn't want to attract any problems. After a few months of this, he eventually learned that Robert was the most relaxed and calm between her and Long. Unlike her, Long would likely blow it way out of proportion and call the men in white coats if Leonard had told him about Penny._

 _"I'm fine, thanks for asking." Leonard said quickly, trying to quickly cover up what he just did. "Nothing really happened at the bar. It was honestly kind of boring."_

 **"It is interesting that you saw Penny in your dreams at a random bar, yet you don't take that as proof that they are dreams."**

 **"People meet people they know by accident all the time. It doesn't mean that it was a dream." Leonard argued.**

 **Robert let out a sigh of tiredness, before looking at the clock on her wall. "Our time is almost up. But can I ask you a question Leonard?"**

 **"It's a free country." Leonard responded as he waited for another annoying question about how he is dreaming an alternate life and how it all symbolizes how he feels.**

 **"Why don't you tell Penny about your dreams?" Robert asked, and Leonard frowned in response.**

 **"Haven't we already had this conversation? Am I in some kind of time loop right now?" Leonard asked, though not seriously of course.**

 **"I'm serious. I understand not telling all of your friends, but Penny is your wife." Robert told him, and Leonard slowly began to pay more attention to what she was saying. "You are planning** **to be spending every day of your life with her until you die. And since you don't plan right now to get better and stop these dreams, do you honestly believe you can keep a secret like this from her?"**

 **"Look, I...I don't see why I have to explain my marriage to you, alright? I've managed this condition of mine for twenty-six years! I don't see how you can think you know how better about how I should manage it than me!" Leonard responded angrily, before storming out of the room.**

* * *

 **Leonard got out the keys to his apartment, still hating the lack of a elevator in this building. If he only lived in this world, he guessed he would have gotten used to it years ago. But as a consequence of living another life in a building with a working elevator, he never has gotten used to it. A** **s he opened the door, he was surprised to find Penny sitting on the couch and staring at the door, as if waiting for him.**

 **"Penny? What's wrong?" he asked with worry, shutting the door behind him and putting his work bag on the floor.**

 **"We need to talk Leonard." Penny told him simply, and Leonard instantly saw the pain in her eyes.**

 **"Uhh, sure. What's wrong?" he asked her, sitting down beside her.**

 **Penny took a deep breath, as if afraid of continuing this conversation, before speaking. "Why did you fall unconscious at the university and why do you have a therapist now?"**

 **"Oh god. Penny, I told you that everything if fine. You don't need to worry about it."**

 **"I don't need to worry!?" Penny exploded. "You fell unconscious and didn't wake up for hours! The doctors had no idea what was wrong with you! I thought you were going to die!"**

 **Leonard looked guiltily at the floor, lost for words as tears began to form around Penny's eyes. She continued to speak however.**

 **"And I know you know why it happened and I want to know why you won't tell me!" Penny shouted, the years coming out like a rainstorm. "Please, just tell me the truth."**

 **"I...I can't. It's complicated." Leonard said weakly, knowing that it was the only response he could have given her without telling the truth. Penny didn't talk for a few moments before speaking again.**

 **"You can't tell me because you don't trust me." she said slowly. Before Leonard could speak, she stands up and pulls off her ring. Her wedding ring. And slowly, she places it on the table and without looking at him, leaves the apartment. Leaves him to stare silently at the ring that he had given her, knowing what that action meant.**

* * *

Opinions?


	8. Chapter 8

It occurred to me that I haven't given Roberts and Long unique personalities that make them different from each other. To fix that slightly, this chapter will show how they react differently to a certain situation. I also have some plans on how to make Roberts and Long more involved in the story and Leonard's life, if you are interested in seeing that.

* * *

 **Leonard laid out on his bed and simply stared at the ceiling. His room reeked of unwashed clothes and half eaten food, but his sense of smell had adjusted. Either that, or he just didn't care enough to notice anymore. In the palm of his hand, was her ring, which was strangely cold against his skin.**

 **Suddenly, he heard Sheldon knock on his door lightly. He knew it was Sheldon because only one person knocked three times. He didn't know if he was thankful or not however that the other Sheldon didn't knock three times.**

 **"Leonard."**

 **Knock.**

 **"Leonard."**

 **Knock.**

 **"Leonard."**

 **Knock.**

 **Leonard didn't speak, praying Sheldon would just go. After knowing him for more than a decade however, Leonard should know that him talking has never stopped Sheldon before.**

 **"Leonard."**

 **Knock.**

 **"Leonard."**

 **Knock.**

 **"Leonard I will keep knocking until you answer."**

 **Knock.**

 **"Oh, just come in!" Leonard shouted angrily.**

 **Slowly, Sheldon warily opened the door and looked in to see Leonard at what must be his worst. Even when Penny had dumbed him before, it had never been this bad. Leonard could see Sheldon observing his messy room, and knew that every cell in Sheldon's body wanted to tear this whole room apart and clean it.**

 **"Are you okay Leonard?" Sheldon asked. Leonard just looked at him with annoyance.**

 **"The love of my life has divorced me. I haven't showered for days or done anything to take care of my personal hygiene. And most importantly of all, you've moved back in. So, I guess you could say that I'm not okay."**

 **Sheldon was silent for a moment, him physically showing his discomfort of the smell and state of Leonard's room by shaking, before he spoke again. "You know Penny hasn't divorced you. She just doesn't want to see you. She's upset, something even I was able to see."**

 **"Look, can you just go away please? This is something you can't understand."**

 **"You're right." Sheldon said calmly.** **Leonard's head shot up as Sheldon continued. "How can I understand when you won't tell anyone what's going on?"**

 **Leonard sighed, lowering his head back down. For a moment, he simply ignored Sheldon, when he finally gave in. "Look, how would you feel if I told you that from the moment we met, I've been keeping a secret from you?"**

 **Sheldon didn't answer. Just as Leonard was about to ask him to leave, taking his silence as an answer, Sheldon spoke. "Have you ever lied to keep this secret?"**

 **"No. Well, okay, I have an idea about why this secret would be responsible for me falling unconscious a few months ago. But I swear, its only because of stress. So technically speaking, I never lied about it being anything people should worry about." Leonard responded, feeling both afraid and exited. Because for the first time, he was coming as close as he could get to telling the truth to one of his friends. "Really, no one has ever asked me point blank about it, so I've never had to lie."**

 **"Does this secret hurt anyone."**

 **"No."**

 **"Does it hurt you?"**

 **"It scared me at first, but after a few years I got used to it."**

 **"Years?" Sheldon questioned with a frown.**

 **"Its a long story."**

 **"Will I ever hear it?"**

 **"I couldn't tell Penny. And I was going to spend the rest of my life with her." Leonard said, his voice breaking slightly under the weight of the depression he was feeling as he thought of her again.**

 **"Have you ever told anyone?"**

 **Leonard hesitated before replying. "My therapist. I'm not sure why. Maybe because I knew that it would only be temporary. But strangely, she has been useful."**

 **"Then maybe you should talk to her about this?" Sheldon asked, before turning to leave so Leonard could think about that. However, he stopped midway through the door, before turning to look at Leonard. "You're my best friend. You know that right?"**

 **"Of course." Leonard replied, wondering why Sheldon was saying this.**

 **"Good. I want you to remember that so if you ever want to tell someone your secret, I'm always here."**

 **And with that, Sheldon left Leonard's room. And he left Leonard carrying many mixed feeling and wondering when Sheldon got so mature and wise.**

* * *

 _"So what appears to be the problem Leonard?" Long asked, taking in his patients new look. A look that seemed to scream homeless, or at the very least one that said Leonard was willing to jump of a building to his death._

 _"The last few days have been...rough. Though that is putting it lightly." Leonard replied._

 **"Isn't it interesting that Penny leaves you after you see her in your dreams, but fail to reach her." Roberts said calmly, obviously not wanting to agitate Leonard. "Subconsciously, you could sense that you were losing her and predicted what she was going to do. Hell, you could even say you knew how you would act."**

 **"Please don't do that. I definitely don't need you giving me some stupid psychologist junk to explain everything. What I need is advice of some kind. Anything will do."**

 _"I'm not sure if I can help you Leonard."_

 _"What?" Leonard asked, confused. "Why? Isn't your job supposed to be helping me?"_

 _"Yes. While this isn't what I expected, I am supposed to help you. Help you get a firmer grasp on reality." Long responded. "I'm not supposed to help you win back the love of someone who doesn't exist."_

 _Leonard shook his head angrily, planning to get up and leave, when Long quickly spoke. "Leonard, look at you. This shows how strong the influence your dreams have on your actions when your awake. You've been late for work, you've stopped taking care of yourself, and you've obviously stopped caring about anything that's real. All because your subconscious is trying to help you and you just can't see it no because you are in love with a fantasy."_

 _Leonard stared at Long in confusion as the therapist finished talking. "Huh?"_

 **"How long has it been now? Two months? Nearly three? I've honking of lost track. But I've known you long enough to get a pretty good idea of how you act around people."**

 **"And how do I act, if you know me so well?"**

 **"Like you don't have to devote all of your time and effort into something. Because half of the time, you're not really here." Roberts told him calmly. "And while you may never have noticed it, everyone saw that quality in you. Everyone ignored it, but they saw it."**

 _"How is my subconscious helping me?" Leonard asked._

 _"Penny left you. The most important thing to you, the one thing that always made you want to go back to your dreams left you. Without that influence, your subconscious made it possible for you to stop these dreams. It is an improvement. Trust me, the worse thing you could do right now is treat this as something bad."_

 **"Leonard, you can't keep living like this. While it has taken time, this attitude to life that you have developed is self-destructive at best. At worst, you could hurt a lot of people. You have to let go of your dreams and deal with your reality."**

 ** _Leonard grew silent and stopped looking at his therapist. The therapist w_** ** _aited for Leonard to speak, but then it became obvious that the physicist was shaking. And then, suddenly and without any hesitation, Leonard exploded with anger._**

 ** _"Why do you assume you know what's best for me! For over twenty-six years, I have lived a great life. I've never had any problems! And yet you assume that you know what's right for me and what I should do! I have succeeded in making something of myself, despite how east it would have been to just give up! You have no idea what I've been through, and yet you think you have the right to say how I should live my life! How dare you!"_**

 _Long stared worryingly at Leonard, who was breathing heavily out of anger and obviously wanted to leave._

 **Roberts stared worryingly at Leonard, who was breathing heavily out of anger and obviously wanted to leave.**

 _"Dr Hofstadter, if you don't mind, I would like you to leave." Long said calmly. Leonard just looked at him before getting up, slamming the door shut behind him as he left the room._

 **Roberts waited patiently for Leonard's breathing to slow, not letting her eyes of him. Eventually, as Leonard felt the guilt for his outburst sink in, regardless if it was justified or not, he stood up to leave.**

 **"Where are you going?" Robert asked just as he took his first step towards the door. "We still have at least eight minutes before our session is actually over."**

 **Leonard paused, the surprise evident on his face. "Isn't it obvious? I'm leaving because I just...you know. And I feel, well, guilty."**

 **"Leonard, be realistic. That isn't the first outburst I've had today from a patient and it certainly won't be the last. If I got angry every time that happened, I wouldn't have any patients." she told him kindly. "Plus, you didn't even punch the wall, so I doubt it could even be called a outburst."**

 **Leonard slowly gave her a grateful smile and sat back down. However, the smile quickly vanished as his problem plagued his mind again. "But what should I do about Penny?"**

 **"Honestly?" Roberts asked, with Leonard quickly nodding. "Tell her about your dreams. I'm not saying tell everyone. But you need to tell her, because right now there is little else you can do."**

* * *

 **Leonard paced the house anxiously, waiting for her. He knew that she was going to work today as he had called her boss to find out. He just had to hope she didn't go straight back into the house when she saw him.**

 **Despite the seriousness of the situation, as it was his marriage on the line, Leonard couldn't help but find it funny that Penny would choose to stay in the same house as Howard. When the two of them had first met, so many years ago, the idea of that ever happening was preposterous. Yet here Leonard was.**

 **Suddenly, the front door opened and Leonard stopped placing, fear running through him. As he saw her come out, the depression on her face bringing a ton of guilt onto him, he wondered again why he was here. He wasn't sure if he was here to beg her to take him back or to tell her the truth. And as she finally saw him and froze in shock, he knew he had to make a decision.**

 **Slowly, Penny began walking again and as she got closer Leonard opened his mouth to speak. But instead of stopping, she just walked straight past him. Surprised, Leonard began walking with her.**

 **"Can we please just talk?" he pleaded, but she didn't even look at him.**

 **"Are you here to tell me the truth?" Penny asked coldly, her tone like a dagger being stabbed into Leonard's heart.**

 **"I..." Millions of thoughts flew through Leonard's head. He didn't know what to do. Didn't know what to say. And Penny took that as her answer.**

 **She began crossing the road to her car, pulling her keys out of her handbag while Leonard stopped, panicking furiously. He was hating himself, and wanted to do something.**

 **"Now you listen." Penny said furiously, turning around to face him as she stopped walking, a few steps from her car. "If you ever grow up and finally act like an adult, I would want to-"**

 **Suddenly, as if by fate, something happened. Leonard only began to see it at the corner of his eye and never expected it. He never expected for the red car to swerve round the bend that quickly, and he definitely didn't expect himself to do what he immediately did on instinct. He doubted that anyone knew if they would be capable of doing such a thing.**

 **He ran. He ran straight towards the love of his life, moving faster than he thought he could. He felt his lungs tighten and his asthma kicked in, but he ignored it. His arms stretched out as far as they would go, he felt them push Penny backwards, closer to her car. He hoped it was enough and thankfully it was. Unfortunately, he himself was not as lucky. He still collided with the left side of the front of the car. All he felt was pain that was quickly followed by darkness.**

* * *

 _Leonard launched into a sitting position, gasping for air and terror causing his heart to plumb more blood through his body. Quickly, he felt a wetness at the top of his lip. Leaping off his bed, he stumbled for a moment and nearly fell head first to the ground, but managed to regain his balance and open the door._

 _He ran to the bathroom and burst in, hand around his nose. Heading for the mirror, he saw the blood dripping from his nose slowly. Grumbling, he quickly grabbed some tissue to start cleaning it. It was only after it stopped that it hit him. That he truly comprehended what the blood and what happened in the digital meant._

 _"Leonard? I_ _thought I heard you running. Is something wrong?" Katie asked, suddenly appearing at the bathroom door in her dressing gown. L_ _eonard looked at her, a strange numbness coming upon him as he said what he was thinking._

 _"I think I'm dead."_

* * *

I hope this was enjoyable. I plan for the next chapter to be solely set in the analog, where I will show more characters from the canon universe and how their lives are different. I have wanted to do a chapter like that for awhile. Tell me what you think and if I made any spelling errors.


	9. Chapter 9

I apologize for how long it has been since I last updated. I just felt that I needed a break from this story. But the good news is that I have finally worked out where this story is going and have a pretty good idea on how many more chapters there will be. I promise to update more quickly after this chapter. Anyway, enjoy!

* * *

" _Okay Leonard, mind telling me what was so urgent you had to call me thirty times?" Long asked his patient, giving him a wary look that he obviously felt was justified due to their last session._

 _"I think I'm dead!" Leonard told him, fear and worry being the dominant emotions shown on his face._

 _Long let out a sigh before speaking to Leonard in a sarcastic and mocking tone. "I think I should warn you, I do not believe in things like ghosts."_

 _"Look, please just listen." Leonard told Long, who reluctantly nodded. "In the digital-"_

 _"The what?"_

 _"The digital, it's the other world. Now-"_

 _"You mean your dreams right? Remember, they are dreams."_

 _"Will you shut up!" Leonard screamed, his fists clenched angrily. "I was hit by a car! I woke up and found myself bleeding afterwards, and it is not the first time pain from one world was somehow transferred to the other. In my first ever fight, my nose was broken and I was knocked out. But here, all I felt was some kind of tingling sensation."_

 _"Leonard, I would like it if you could leave." Long said calmly. "I think you need to calm down and-"_

 _"I can't calm down! I might be dead! Or, I might be dying. But that isn't the important part. The important thing is that I don't know what will happen if I go to sleep." Leonard said, panic ruling his actions. "If I go to sleep and go back to the digital, what if I die? Actually die, not end up back here."_

 _Long took a deep breath before speaking softly and reassuringly. "Listen to me Leonard."_

 _Once he was sure he had Leonard's attention, Long continued. "You are not dead. This might actually represent progress, like with Penny."_

 _"What are out talking about?"_

 _"Lets look at the facts. Your wife leaves you, which removes one of the reasons for why you refuse to get rid of these dreams. Then, you are hit by a car, which I can see has you frightened by your dreams." Long stated, as if that made everything clear. When he saw that Leonard didn't understand, Long explained. "Your subconscious mind knew it was time to let these fantasies go, and has created many ways to make you try to stop having them. Now why don't you go home, or perhaps work seeing as its Monday, and think that over, and I promise, soon you will realize that I am right."_

* * *

 _Leonard used his plastic fork to fiddle with his food, as people rushed past the table he was on to somewhere they needed to be. As he observed them, he couldn't help but envy them. They had a perfectly normal life, or at the very least normal as in not having to live part time in an alternate universe, while he had to deal with the possibility he will die the second he falls asleep. He acknowledged that this must be what it was like for superheroes in the comics he read._

 _As he realised he had just compared himself to superheroes, and how ridiculous that was, Sheldon suddenly appeared and sat down opposite to him. His roommate gave him a polite nod before proceeding to eat his food. The two just sat there in silence, before Sheldon began speaking._

 _"So, how has your day been so far?" Leonard asked._

 _"Same as always. I try to unravel the secrets of the universe, but I am always stopped by Stephanie Barnett." Sheldon replied, saying the woman's name with some anger._

 _"She still hitting on you?" Leonard asked with a small smile, glad for this small respite from his problems. Sheldon's relationship with Stephanie here in the analog always made him laugh, as he was more familiar with their digital relationship._

 _"It isn't funny. I should get her fired for sexual harassment." Sheldon hissed when he saw Leonard's smile._

 _"Then report her to Human Resources."I_

 _"You know I can't do that! I go there, I will have to deal with Ms Sweeney." Sheldon argued. "Why do woman find me so attractive!?"_

 _"It's a mystery believe me. You don't know how many times I've tried to find out why." Leonard told him, finding it amusing by how Emily Sweeney has a different job here as head of Human Resources. He always liked to know how different s someone's life was in each world. The two didn't speak for a few minutes until Sheldon broke the silence._

 _"So, Katie tells me that your sister is coming to visit for a few weeks." Sheldon says simply, showing Leonard a sly grin._

 _"I know I say this every time Rosie comes over, but I feel like saying it again." Leonard responds, smiling briefly before dropping the facade to show his seriousness. "Touch my sister, I will beat you to death with your laptop."_

 _"Why do you assume I would try anything? I'm with Katie now, remember?"_

 _"Oh don't make me laugh. Everyone knows that you would sacrifice Katie in a heartbeat to get back at me for my little adventure with Missy." Leonard responded, earning an annoyed groan from his best friend._

 _"Dr Hofstadter, Dr Cooper." Bert Kibbler said to them as he suddenly appeared, causing the two roommates to look at him in surprise._

 _"Dr Kibbler, what a surprise." Sheldon said worryingly, with Leonard feeling anxiously as well. It was a well known fact that Kibbler was a terrifying force to be reckoned with who has enough influence over how Caltech was run to shut down experiments and destroy careers with one swift phone call. A far cry from the man Leonard knew in the digital._

 _"So Dr Cooper, I've heard that you will be working with Dr Plimpton." Kibbler said to Sheldon, with Leonard quickly figuring out what this was about. Despite her different occupation in this world, there was one aspect about Elizabeth Plimpton's personality that remained the same. And it was because of this aspect that Kibbler was here sounding very possessive of her._

 _"Yes sir."_

 _"Well I just want to say that if anything happens while the two of you are doing your research that has nothing to do with it, anything at all, it will end very badly for you." Kibbler told Sheldon as he lowered down to eye level with him. "Understand?"_

 _"Yes sir." Sheldon repeated. Leonard briefly wondered if Sheldon's brain was having a meltdown from freight and he was only repeating those two words, but Kibbler apparently didn't think that as he stood up to his full height._

 _"Good. Also, if either of you see Gablehauser tell him I want to see him. I know that biologist has been avoiding me." Kibbler said before walking off, allowing Leonard and Sheldon to let out a deep breath of relief._

 _"That was scary." Sheldon said to Leonard._

 _"You got that right."_

 _The two friends stopped talking and instead focused on eating, but without something to talk about Leonard couldn't help but return to thinking about his life and death situation. He didn't know what he should do._

 _"Is something wrong?" Sheldon suddenly asked him, having observed him for a moment._

 _"No."_

 _"Now, if I didn't know you I would assume I was wrong. But I do know you, so eight out of ten times I'm correct when I think that you are not okay." Sheldon replied, obviously not going to let this conversation go. Despite it having been months since Leonard's incident, Sheldon still worried about him. L_ _eonard let out a sigh, unsure what to do. Suddenly however, an idea appeared in his head._

 _"Here's an hypothetical question." he began._

 _"Oh, I do like those." Sheldon replied, putting down his fork to focus on Leonard._

 _"Right. Well, say there's this guy and he switches between two realities every time he falls asleep."_

 _"A little boring and unoriginal, but go on."_

 _"Okay, so this guy has been able to keep his condition under control for years. Besides a few bumps here and there, it's been alright. Then, he's hit by a car in one world."_

 _"Plot twist." Sheldon said in a bored monotone voice with Leonard getting the feeling that he was only indulging this conversation out of friendship. However, knowing that if he stopped Sheldon might become more suspicious, Leonard continued talking._

 _"Yeah, well this guy doesn't know what to do next. He doesn't know what will happen if he goes to sleep. Will he wake up back in the other world or not? And if he does, what is his condition? For all he knows, going back could lead to him dying."_

 _"Okay. So, what's my role in this conversation?"_

 _"Well, what should he do?" Leonard asked, hoping he was being as subtle as possible with this, though he got the feeling he was failing in doing that. "Should he try to stay awake for as long as he can and find a way not to go back, or should he go back and hope for the best?"_

 _Sheldon was silent for a moment, obviously thinking, before speaking to Leonard again. "Leonard, why are you asking me this?"_

 _"I'm...writing a book." Leonard responded desperately. However, this only earned him a look of confusion. "That's sort of the plot. I'm just struggling to figure out where to take it next and how to make it realistic."_

 _"Really?" Sheldon asked. "I mean, I know me and Gilda have been trying to convince you for years, but you do know that an actual book is very difficult from fanfiction, right?"_

 _"Yes, I know that." Leonard replied. For the last few years in both worlds, due to sheer boredom, he had started writing fanfictions of films and shows about what happened in the other world. For example, here in the analog Supernatural ended on five seasons with Sam in Hell and Dean retired from hunting, so he has been writing what has happened in the digital and posting them online on the analog. And people love it. He wasn't sure why he chose to do it, but Leonard just got bored one evening and just needed to kill sometime. Eventually, Sheldon found out and somehow got convinced that Leonard has some hidden literacy talent and he should make a book and put it online._

 _"But come on, any ideas?" Leonard asked Sheldon, but all he got was a shrug._

 _"I don't know. Let me think about it." Sheldon answered with a shrug, returning to his food._

 _Leonard just stared at him for a moment, desperately trying to think of a way to continue talking with Sheldon that didn't seem weird. He knew that he should be so scared of this situation that he would become a sniveling shadow of who he was. But, instead all he felt was some kind of numbness since his conversation with Long. He didn't know why, but instead of being frightened or angry over what happened, he just couldn't bring himself to react to any of it the way he felt he should._

 _And that worried him more than the possibility he might die when he goes to sleep. Because all he can think about was all those times Long and Roberts had said that his multiple realities will lead him to be disconnected from everything. All the times his friends had said he was distant. For the first time, Leonard began to wonder...what if they were right?_

* * *

 _"So, how long has it been now since your sister has come over?" Katie asked Leonard as she tidied up a few things._

 _"About two years now." Leonard replied as he sent an email on his laptop_ _"You know how she is, with all the traveling she does."_

 _"I'm still surprised by how much cooler she is than you. I don't think I'll ever get over it." Sheldon said without thinking._

 _"Sheldon." Katie said to her boyfriend._

 _"Yes?"_

 _"That's insensitive"_

 _"Oh. Oh, now I see." Sheldon said with realization on his face, before turning to look at Leonard. "Sorry Leonard."_

 _Leonard just shook his head as Sheldon walked off to his roo, wondering what gave him the strength to deal with Sheldon twice as much. Maybe it's because of how different he was in each world._

 _"So, are you excited to see her again." Katie asked him as she sat down on the sofa._

 _"Of course I am." Leonard answered. "I mean, you've met every other member of my family right? She's the only one that I've ever actually gotten a_ _long with."_

 _"I suppose so. But aren't things a little better with your mum?"_

 _"A little, but I honestly think it will take at least twenty years before our relationship is like every other mother-son relationship." Leonard replied. "Anyway, what's been happening with you?"_

 _"Not much." Katie told him. "My mum has gotten married again."_

 _"Really?" Leonard asked with surprise as he also sat on the sofa. "That's quick isn't it? Didn't her husband leave her a few weeks ago?"_

 _"Why are you surprise?" she asked him. "You remember when she got married to that one guy eight minutes after divorcing what's his name, right?"_

 _"Yeah, I see your point." Leonard acknowledged. "And his name was Dan. The guy she divorced."_

 _"Really? I thought it was Steve."_

 _"No Steve was the guy who divorced her. And what led her to meet Dan."_

 _"Oh yeah, you're right. I forgot about that guy." Katie replied, going silent for a moment before speaking again to Leonard. "Why do you even know any of that?"_

 _"I don't know." Leonard answered, himself confused._

 _As Katie grabbed a magazine of the table, Leonard just sat there sitting on the sofa thinking about his sister Rosamund, who was often just called Rosie. She was perhaps one of the biggest and most important differences from this reality and the other one. She was born two years after the accident, and her presence is possibly why Leonard's mother and father stayed together long enough to finally work through their feelings and save their marriage._

 _Unlike Michael and Lisa, who flourished under Beverly's parenting methods, Rosamund was like Leonard. She struggled with the emotional neglect caused by Beverly , worse than Leonard. Instead of desperately trying to impress her, all she did was rebel and fight back. Which wasn't a good thing, considering the crowd she ended up with. Thankfully however, those days were over and while she refused to see Beverly, Michael and Lisa, she has always stayed in touch with Leonard and their father. S_ _uddenly there was a knock on the door, which was followed by a familiar voice._

 _"Hey, open up. It's me." Gilda said through the door, the Chinese food she was carrying being easy to smell. "You have three guesses about who I found in the elevator."_

 _Soon, Leonard was giving Rosamund a large hug. Rosie greatly resembled Leonard, minus the glasses, and had a few of his personality quirks. Like him, she was very intelligent and geeky, with an interest in science fiction that exceeds his own. However, unlike him, she had a limitless amount of confidence and willingness to try new things that only their mother could defeat._

 _"So, tell me everything that I've missed." Rosie said to everyone as she sat down on the sofa and grabbed some of the Chinese food on the table._

 _"Well, there has been some pretty neat stuff going on at the university." Leonard answered, as he desperately tried to push all thoughts of his problem from his mind. "We're using a highly advanced laser to-"_

 _"Still no girlfriend." Katie quickly said, cutting Leonard off. "Or boyfriend for that matter. We thought there was a chance with one girl, but he apparently didn't see her in that way."_

 _"Seriously!?" Leonard asked his sister. "You too? Who else in my family wants to set me up with someone?"_

 _"Michael." Rosie responded, causing Leonard to nearly drop his food. "We have a running bet on whether you will end up with a girl or a guy. And by the way, I think dad is finally going to get involved."_

 _"God help me." Leonard muttered as he facepalmed not for the first time in either of his lives._

 _"What about you Rosie? Anyone special in you're life?" Sheldon asked her, causing Leonard to quickly turn and glare at him as he recalled their earlier conversation._

 _"Well, there is one guy. He's going to visit me next Friday."" Rosie answered with a smile. "I can't wait for you to meet him."_

 _"And I can't wait to meet him" Leonard told her, mentally reminding himself to later order a gun on GunsUSA before next Friday. He's seen before what his sister's taste in men is like and he's going to be prepared this time for any funny business._

 _At that point, there was a knock on the door which was followed by Raj's voice. "Hey Leonard, can you help with my Wi-Fi?"_

 _"Oh, you have got to meet the guy who lives across the hall." Katie almost yelled as she got to her feet, leaving her Chinese food on the coffee table, and dashed to the door. Before Leonard could stop her, she had opened the door to reveal her unfortunate victim._

 _"Raj, my man! Come on in, there's someone I need you to meet." Katie said as she dragged Raj in by the hand, closing the door behind him. "Raj, this is Leonard's sister Rosie. Rosie, this is our neighbour."_

 _"Hi Raj." Rosie said, standing up and offering him her hand. Surprisingly, Raj reacted better than Leonard thought he would. He only made two awkward squeaky sounds and managed to shake Rosie's hand with only minor difficulty. Rosie looked towards a smiling Katie once Raj let go of her hand._

 _"Is he okay?"_

 _"He can't talk to women. He's every therapist's an psychologist's dream client. They could write a book or whole chapters about him." Katie answered while Sheldon looked apologetically towards Raj._

 _"Well, that's certainly not true." Leonard muttered as he put down his food an got up. "So, let's go get your Wi-Fi sorted."_

 _Quickly, due to Leonard's insistence, Leonard and Raj were in the latter's apartment as Leonard looked at Raj's Wi-Fi settings._

 _"I don't know what you done Raj, but I somehow you're computer is connecting and then disconnecting from the Wi-Fi. You might have quite virus." Leonard told him, before noticing the upset look on Raj's face. "What's wrong?"_

 _Raj hesitated for a moment before speaking. "Does Katie hate me or something?_

 _"No, she doesn't hate you." Leonard told him with a slight sigh at how Katie acted around New people. "She just gets like that a lot around new people, to see what they are like. You should have seen her when I first met her. Back then, I never thought she would end up being one of my closest friends."_

 _"But why does she do it?"_

 _"My guess is that it's a defense mechanism. It's not as bad a sit used to be, but it's still there. Once she gets used to you, it stops. At that point you will be wishing she was still nervous around you."_

 _Raj smiled slightly while Leonard chuckled. However, the smile quickly disappeared when Raj apparently noticed something. "Are you okay?"_

 _"What do you mean?"_

 _"You are...Well you have blood coming from your nose." Race told him as he pointed to his own nose. Indeed, when he put his fingers near his own nose, he found some blood coming from it. At that point, a pounding headache suddenly appeared and Leonard's legs began shaking before everything we at black._

* * *

 **He couldn't see anything, but he felt so much pain**

 **It felt like daggers were digging into his bones and tearing them apart. Sounds were muffled and distorted, but he heard one voice.**

 **"Leonard!"**

 **Her voice.**

 **"Leonard, please wake up!"**

 **Penny's voice.**

 **"The ambulance is coming, but I need you to wake up!"**

* * *

 _"Leonard, are you okay?" Raj asked with worry as he gently grabbed hold of Leonard, helping him find his balance._

 _"Yeah, I'm fine." Leonard responded, breathing heavily. "Can I use your bathroom quickly?"_

 _"Uhh, yeah. It's just over there" Raj said, pointing towards the bathroom. "Do you need me to get your friends or something?"_

 _"No." Leonard almost shouted as he began steadily walking towards the bathroom. "No, I'm fine. Just been under a lot of stress lately, that's all."_

 _A few minutes later, Leonard exited the bathroom after cleaning away all the blood. He found Raj observing him, being prepared for anything else that might happen. Leonard decided that now was the time for him to leave._

 _"So, I'm sorry I can't help you with computer, but I would recommend checking for any viruses. Sorry for the, well, you know." Leonard said quickly, making a dash for the door. "See you around."_

 _Before Raj could stop him, Leonard was out the door and walking towards his door key in hand. He hoped that him nearly collapsing hasn't ruined a chance of friendship with Raj, but he hoped even more than he won't mention it to anyone. He opened it to find Gilda and Rosie in a heated argument, as was expected of them while Katie and Sheldon observed them with some amusement, that was only stopped when Leonard entered._

 _"Good, you're back." Rosie said with a small, but friendly glare towards Gilda. "Can you explain to this idiot why Toby Loobenfeld is a better actor than David Underhill!"_

 _"Oh come one!" Gilda almost screamed. "If that's the case, why is Underhill in dramas and action movies as well as comedies, while Loobenfeld is stuck in comedies?"_

 _"Because he is one of the greatest comedians ever, up there with the three stooges." Rosie argued. "And he's directed and written eight movies that have won several film awards, unlike your uncreative David!"_

 _This argument went on for awhile, and only settled down slightly near the end, but by that point the argument had evolved to be about Loopenfeld's successful Red Dwarf films and Underhill's success as iron man in the Marvel Cinematic Universe. However, eventually both had to end their friendly argument and go home._

 _"See you on Monday." Rosie told him as she hugged him._

 _"Can't wait." Leonard replied, letting her go and waving goodbye as she went into the elevator with Gilda. Smiling, he shut the door._

 _"Well, I'm going to bed. You coming?" Sheldon asked Katie, with Leonard rolling his eyes at his subtlety._

 _"In a minute." Katie answered, and soon only Leonard and Katie were in the living room_

 _"What?" Leonard asked, noticing how seriously she was staring at him._

 _She took a hesitant breath before speaking. "Leonard, why is there enough coffee in our cupboards to last us a decade?"_

 _"Oh, come on." Leonard replied, forgetting his plans for dealing with this sort of question. "There isn't that much."_

 _"I had to take out about eight packets to find the break!" Katie responded, looking over her shoulder to make sure Sheldon wasn't listening. "Look, just promise me that you're okay? Promise me."_

 _Despite how much he hated himself for how easy he found it, Leonard looked straight at her as lied. "I'm okay."_

 _"Alright then." she replied, before hesitantly walking away to her bedroom. S_ _ighing with guilt and regret, Leonard went to the bathroom to grab some tissue. If he was going to stay up all night, he didn't want to wake up his roommate's by running to the bathroom in case he has another nose bleed._

 _As he grabbing the whole box, feeling that it was better to be safe than sorry, he met out a small yawn. At that moment, whatever wall he had to keep his emotions in control, shattered. As his heart began beating faster and tears started to form, he collapsed onto the clean bathroom floor in utter terror._

 _"I'm not going to die. I-I'm not...I'm not going to die." he tried to tell himself firmly, but not truly believing his words. With a small amount of struggle due to his emotional state, he dashed as quietly as he could so he didn't disturb his roommates towards the kitchen, planning to drink as much coffee as possible to stay awake all night and look for anything that could help him in the web. Recently, he has heard of an experiment in Sweden where a man stayed awake for a whole day with little to no negative effects._

 _Due to how advanced technology was here, even if it was only a little, Leonard had a small hope he could survive here for a little while. While he knew there was no chance of him staying awake forever, he wasn't going to just give up. But as he began making himself a coffee, he began thinking of what that would mean for him, if he tried to stay here. It would mean no Howard, no Halley, no Amy, nothing from his life there. He would be spending every second of his life here, afraid of falling asleep or having another episode like when he was in Raj's apartment. But most importantly, he would actually be fighting to not see Penny again._

 _"Damn it." Leonard muttered, as he reluctantly put everything away. "I guess when it comes down to it, I really would choose her over everyone here."_

 _After clearing everything up, he slowly walked towards his bedroom. After entering it, he grabbed a notepad and a pen from his desk and began writing._

 _"Dear friends." he wrote, his hand shaking slightly. "I don't know if you will get this or not, but I can't leave without saying goodbye somehow in case tomorrow comes and I'm not okay. There is something you don't know about me, something important I have kept secret from you. I hope that if you are reading this, that I will one day be able to tell you. But I want you to know that the three of you are more than I could have wanted in friends and I owe you so much. From your friend, Leonard."_

 _Putting the notepad on his desk, Leonard let out a sigh to prepare himself. Crawling into his bed, not bothering to change into pajamas, Leonard found himself feeling strangely calm and relaxed. As if all the worry had been drained from him. He had thought he would struggle to find sleep, but apparently him accepting that he wanted to go back made it easier. And so, despite knowing he should be more scared than he was, sleep eventually came to him after some waiting._

* * *

 **"Leonard!"**

 **"P-Penny." Leonard whispered, the pain taking him by surprise and the sunlight strangely stinging his eyes.**

 **"Oh thank God!" his wife shouted as she she held him in her arms and looked down at him. "Leonard, the ambulance is here, just stay still."**

 **"I'm alive." Leonard said with a smile, despite how much it hurt to do so. But as far as he could see, he didn't have any broken bones. Of course, he couldn't move to see, but right now he preferred to look at the positives.**

 **"Yes, you're alive and I need you to stay still because you were hit by a car!" Penny told him, smiling at him with relief despite the tears in her eyes as paramedics began surrounding the two of them, carrying a stretcher.**

 **"Excuse me miss, but I need you to move back." A paramedic told Penny, who Leonard strangely recognized to be his brother's wife in the analog. If course, he could just be hallucinating her. A** **s the paramedics prepared to put him on stretcher, Leonard realized what he needed to do.**

 **"Penny!" he said as loud as he could, which thankfully stopped her from leaving and got her attention. "When I get out of the hospital, I promise you I will tell you the truth. I promise you I will tell you everything."**

* * *

Sorry if you were disappointed with how I wrote how Leonard did his note, but I wasn't sure how to write it. Remember to tell me what you think of this chapter and if there are any spelling mistakes. In case no one knew the character I was mentioning, Elizabeth Plimpton, was a minor character from season 3 from the episode "The Plimpton Stimulation". Also, Toby Loobenfeld is the name of the character who played Sheldon's made up cousin Leopold and David Underhill is a minor physicist from season two who briefly dates Penny, but they break up when she learns that he has a wife. Anyway, I hope you look forward for the next chapter where Penny finally knows the truth about Leonard.


	10. Chapter 10

**Leonard observed Penny patiently, as she sat on the sofa in their apartment silently processing what he had just told her. Anxiously, he began rubbing the blue arm sling that was tied around his right arm. He still couldn't believe that, with the exception of his arm, he had practically walked away from being hit by a car unscathed. Yet another sign that suggests that this is the dream. O** **f course, if it was a dream, it was the most detailed as the pain he had f** **elt was excruciating. Plus, he had been in hospital for several days. So maybe he had just got lucky.**

 **"So, let me just...see if I understand what you are saying." Penny finally said, turning to stare at him as he sat on the opposite end of the sofa. "You dream of a world where you're convinced that reality is a dream."**

 **"No, I don't think that world is reality and that this is a dream." Leonard replied. "I said I don't know which is the dream and which is reality."**

 **"Oh, and that's supposed to be better?" Penny asked sarcastically.**

 **"Well...yeah." Leonard answered awkwardly, earning a small glare from Penny. "I mean, if you had to choose between me thinking this was a dream and me not knowing what was a dream, wouldn't you prefer-"**

 **"Just shut up!" Penny shouted, and Leonard saw something that hurt more than being hit by a car. He saw the fear in her eyes.**

 **"Penny, you don't have to be upset." Leonard began, but Penny quickly stopped him from speaking again.**

 **"Upset!" Penny nearly screamed at him, standing up. "Can you even begin to understand what you have just told me? How I feel knowing that my boyfriend is crazy!"**

 **"I'm not crazy." Leonard protested, trying to ignore that he sounded like Sheldon when he said that.**

 **"You just told me that you can't tell your dreams from reality!" Penny argued with him. "How is that not crazy!?"**

 **"Look, if I was crazy something bad would have happened a long time ago." Leonard said, hoping he could calm her down as he walked towards her, arms outstretched. "Like I said, I've had this condition for years."**

 **"Can you stop being so calm about this!?" Penny shouted, with Leonard getting a deep feeling of fear as he began to think he made a big mistake. "What if I told you something as crazy as this? What if I told you I lived the same day over and over again, like in that film Groundhog Day? How would you react?"**

 **Leonard paused for a moment, thinking seriously about the question before speaking. "I would honestly be a little skeptical, but I would have to be open to the possibility considering my own situation. It would be very hypocritical of me if I didn't."**

 **"I was being rhetorical!" she shouted again. Leonard looked at their door, hoping that no one was listening to this, before turning back to look at his wife as she began to speak again. "Leonard, be honest with me. Are you really telling me the truth right now?"**

 **Leonard knew that if there was any point where he could lie and say he was joking, say that it was a bad joke he had been told earlier today, it was now. And he wanted to lie so much, and pray everything could go back to normal. But he couldn't. He knew he couldn't lie anymore, knew that he needed to tell someone the truth about himself. He couldn't bear to keep it a secret any longer.**

 **"Yes. Yes I'm telling the truth." Leonard told her. "Every time I go to sleep, I wake up in an alternate world where things are different. Howard killed his mother, Raj has just recently moved to the apartment across the hall, Sheldon is very different, Bernadette has a son, Amy is a vet and I'm friends with two people who don't know me here."**

 **"Why are you telling me this Leonard?" Penny asked him. "Why are you telling me something that you have me by secret from me for years, when you could have kept it a secret forever? Why tell anyone?"**

 **"Because...I don't really know, okay?" Leonard finally admitted. "I don't have an actual reason, beyond the feeling that I need to tell someone. But I have had the kind of feeling all my life, and I know I can handle it for the rest of my life. And plus, I've told my therapists and-"**

 **"Wait, what?" Penny asked, staring at him with a mixture of emotions. Leonard's mistake quickly dawned on him and he instantly began trying to fix it.**

 **"Oh God. Look, it's not as bad as it sounds, I swear."**

 **"So you're happy with telling total strangers, but not me?" Penny asked him.**

 **"It's not like that. They kept bugging me about it, and I figured I would get into more trouble with the university by not saying something. After all, they thought that episode in the cafeteria was stress related."**

 **"But you can tell this to strangers!?"**

 **"Technically speaking, I've only told one other person in this world. I have a therapist here, and a different therapist in the analog." Leonard told her, hoping that would make things better. It didn't.**

 **"Analog? What's the analog?"**

 **"It's...the name for the other world. In that world, I wear one of those old watches with the hands. This world is the digital. That's why I always wear this watch." Leonard explained, holding up the arm with the watch around his wrist. Penny put her hands to her face for a moment, before lowering them.**

 **"Okay, okay, let's just..." Penny began, but she eventually just let out a sigh of stress before taking some steps towards Leonard. "Now, it's going to be okay."**

 **"Okay?" Leonard asked in confusion.**

 **"We're going to get help." she continued, causing Leonard to roll his eyes quickly.**

 **"Penny, listen to me." Leonard told her gently, hesitantly taking her hands into his own. "I'm not telling you this because I want help. I'm telling you because, well, I just want you to know the truth."**

 **Penny stared at him, not saying anything, though he could see the disbelief in her eyes. Then slowly she pulled her hands away from him and began walking away. She grabbed her coat, opened the door and walked out. And Leonard just stood there.**

* * *

 _"So, are you calm now? Have you acknowledged the fact that you are not dead? And that you are not going to die?"_

 _Leonard hesitated before speaking, regretting ever telling Long about his condition. He had only told him and Roberts the truth simply because they would tell the university of they thought he was hiding something, and he didn't need the trouble. But after recent events, he was beginning to think that telling Long will only cause him more trouble than he could have if Leonard hadn't told him._

 _"No, thing's are fine now." Leonard finally answered, now wary of telling him too much._

 **"Things are not fine." Leonard told Roberts.**

 **"Why, what's wrong?" she asked him, appearing to be genuinely concerned.**

 **"Well, I've finally told Penny the truth." Leonard answered. "You know, about my little condition."**

 **"Really?" Roberts asked, obviously surprised. "Well, I wasn't expecting that. How did she take it?"**

 **Leonard thought about it. "Well, considering how bad I thought it would go, pretty well actually."**

 **"So still bad."**

 **"Yeah."**

 _"Have your dreams continued?"_

 _"Yes."_

 _"And how bad was the accident." he asked, saying the last word with a tone that told Leonard how skeptical he was._

 _"Just a broken arm that will heal soon, though it won't be perfect again."_

 _"And somehow, you still doubt which is a dream." Long muttered, not bothering to hide what he said._

 **"So what happened?" Roberts asked him.**

 **"Well, she's still staying with Bernadette and Howard. Bernadette came round and asked me what I did with all of her fury, which was more scary than when you play a game with her." Leonard answered. "I just don't know how to fix this."**

 **"Well, she's understandably scared. I mean, you do know people don't consider doubting your reality a normal thing, right?"**

 **"Yes, I know that. And I knew she wasn't going to be alright and just accept it." Leonard replied, absent mindedly fiddling with his watch as he did.**

 **"Do you mind if I ask you why you don't look for Penny in your dreams?" Roberts asked him.**

 **"Haven't we already had this conversation?"**

 **"If you consider doing everything you can to not have this conversation to be having this conversation, then yes." Roberts told him. "I, however, do not consider that to be the case."**

 _"How h_ _as the visit from your sister been?"_

 _"Good. Apparently, she's dating someone and they will be coming over on Friday._ _" Leonard informed him._

 _"Do you have any bad feelings about that?"_

 _"What, Rosie bringing her boyfriend over to visit? No, not at all. She told me a long time ago that I'm the first member of our family she will ever introduce any boyfriends to. That way they're not scared away by the crazy too soon. Introducing a boyfriend to our family would be like teaching someone to fly a plane without any basic training."_

 **"So why don't you try to find her? I mean, I know that in your dreams she has become a different kind of actress, but surely it wouldn't be too difficult to track her down?"**

 **"I..." Leonard tried to speak, before trailing off. For a second, he considered lying, but he knew he couldn't do that to Roberts, who has been much more supportive than Long. "Look, can I tell you something?"**

 **"Of course." she answered. L** **eonard hesitated for a moment, unsure if he should tell her, before speaking.**

 **"I'm afraid." Leonard admitted.**

 **"Afraid?"**

 **"Because I get to see how two variations of how life could turn out, I see people end up with someone in one world, but with someone else in the other. And chances are, they love each person the same amount in each world. I mean, take Sheldon for instance. Here, you can practically just look at him and Amy and know they are meant to be together. But in the other place, when he's with Katie I can see how much they love each other. And that makes me a little...skeptical, I guess, about relationships."**

 **"So, you have doubts about your relationship with Penny?" Roberts asked him.**

 **"No! Well, I...I don't know." Leonard replied. "It's just, what if I find Penny in the other place, and we're not compatible? What if she doesn't like me? For crying out loud, when me and Penny first got married I practically stated that I liked to believe that me and her were fated to be together. But if we're not meant to be together there, can I honestly say we're meant to be together here?"**

* * *

 _"Hey Leonard." Bernadette said to Leonard as he got up the stairs, having decided to walk up the stairs more often to get some exercise in this world despite having and elevator. Behind her were Gilda and Katie, with the latter having closed the door._

 _"Hey. What are you three up to?" Leonard asked them, smiling despite his problems in the digital. Lately, the analog has become a way for him to have a break from his problems, something Roberts would disapprove of if she doesn't know already. It's just that by comparison, everything is more simple in this world than in the other. And if he continued to compare them, he could say that in this world his life was less dramatic_ _that world, everything is so much harder with breakups, Howard going to space and working for the government. Here, there was nothing to cause problems or anything that made his life that special. Possibly another thing that suggests that this world is real._

 _"We're going on a girl's night out." Katie answered. "Rosie is going to meet up with us at a bar."_

 _"Good. Remember to keep my sister out of trouble." Leonard told them jokingly._

 _"Oh, hi Leonard." Raj said as he suddenly walked out the elevator once the doors opened. "Are you-"_

 _Raj made a small squeal that greatly resembled the sound a pig made when he saw the three women talking to Leonard. Katie smiled a little when she saw him, while Bernadette frowned in confusion and Gilda shook her head in amusement and some pity._

 _"This is Raj. He can't talk to women he can have sex with." Leonard informed Bernadette._

 _"Seriously?" Bernadette asked, very surprised by the information._

 _"I know. It's hilarious!" Katie said to Bernadette, but the latter simply shook her head._

 _"Don't be mean." she said to Katie, before stepping towards Raj and sticking her hand out. "Hello Raj. My name's Bernadette."_

 _Raj slowly and hesitantly, but successfully, shook Bernadette's hand and gave her an awkward smile. Bernadette smiled back before they both let go of each other's hand, and Bernadette looked back at Katie and Gilda._

 _"Should we get going?"_

 _"Yeah, alright." Katie replied._

 _"See you guys later." Gilda said to Leonard and Raj as she followed Bernadette and Katie into the elevator, the doors closing behind her._

 _"She was nice." Raj said to Leonard._

 _"Yeah. She is nice." Leonard replied, a small smile on his face as he realized that slowly parts of his life were in the digital were becoming part of his life here. He has been dreaming of this happening for years. Not real dreaming of course, as in being asleep. He hasn't had a proper dream, or a nightmare, since that car accident all those years ago._

 _"Well, I'm going to go and get something to eat. See you later Leonard." Raj told him,walking to his apartment._

 _"Yeah. See you later Raj." Leonard said back, opening the door to his apartment with his key as he did._

 _"Oh good, you're just the person I wanted to see." Sheldon said to Leonard from the kitchen as Leonard closed the door behind him._

 _"Why? Is something wrong?" Leonard asked Sheldon, who had begun walking up to Leonard while fiddling with something in his pocket._

 _"No. Nothing is wrong." Sheldon replied nervously, which only made Leonard nervous. Noticing this however, Sheldon quickly began to talk. "As you know, me and Katie have been together for a few years now."_

 _"Yeah."_

 _"And despite a few...bumps along the road, shall we say, we've never had any problems thanks to you."_

 _"Pretty much." Leonard agreed, acknowledging the fact that if you compared Sheldon's relationship with Katie with Leonard's and Penny's, they would look like the most normal couple ever. Even if Katie did accidentally got married to Missy that one time._

 _"Well, that is why..." Sheldon continued, trailing off for a moment, before pulling out a box form his pocket and speaking again. "That is why I've decided to give her this."_

 _Sheldon opened the box to reveal what was, unmistakably, a wedding ring. The same wedding ring that, in the other reality, Sheldon had planned to give to Amy. Leonard's brain ceased to function for a split second, as what Sheldon was telling him sank in._

 _"Jesus, Mary and Joseph!" Leonard shouted, a small part of him noting that he has never said that before now. Sheldon stared at Leonard in surprise._

 _"Weird. For a second, you reminded me of my mother. It was really disturbing. Promise me you won't ever say that again." Sheldon told Leonard. "But yes. I'm planning to propose. Let me tell you, convincing my mother to give me this family heirloom was difficult, but eventually she conceded when I got her to admit she approved of Katie."_

 _"Wow." Leonard practically whispered, as he stared at the ring, before looking straight and Sheldon. "So, why are you telling me? Wouldn't you want to keep this a surprise?"_

 _"Well, two reasons actually. One, I may need help in making everything romantic when I pop the question. As you know, romance has never been my best area. Never seen the point of it until Katie."_

 _"Good point." Leonard replied._

 _"And secondly, you're my best friend." Sheldon told Leonard, causing the latter's eyes to widen even more in surprise, which was shocking considering how surprised he was by the ring._

 _"What's that got to do with it?"_

 _"Well...I don't know. It just didn't feel right without telling you. I mean, me and Katie wouldn't even be together if it wasn't for you." Sheldon answered. "Granted, you wanted to have sex with her, but at the time I considered her no better than a brain damaged chimpanzee. And if you hadn't chosen to help her, who knows where I would be. Or who I would be, because I know I was very annoying before Katie."_

 _Leonard was silent for a moment, shocked by what Sheldon had said. "Wait, so you're not annoying anymore?"_

 _"If you had said something like that before Katie, you will be regretting it so much. But now, I can't imagine you ever not saying things like that." Sheldon told Leonard with a smile. "But, yeahs, you're my best friend and I just felt wrong to not have your help in this. I mean, you are good at knowing what the right choices to make are."_

 _"Wait a minute." Leonard said as he realized something, which caused a grin to spread across his face. "You want my approval!"_

 _"No I don't! That's ridiculous!"_

 _"Oh my God, you actually wanted my say so if this is a good idea!" Leonard said with a laugh._

 _"Fine, fine, I get it. It's a bad idea." Sheldon grumbled, putting the box back in his hand and beginning to walk away._

 _"No. No it isn't." Leonard said, causing Sheldon to pause. "You and Katie are great together. You should be together and I will be glad to help make it happen. Just tell me what you need, and I'll help."_

 _"Thanks Leonard." Sheldon said with a smile._

* * *

 **Leonard opened the door to his apartment, having been surprised by what happened with Sheldon in the analog all day. It made him act a little weird around the Sheldon here, though as usual he didn't notice how Leonard acted. However, all his thoughts about that vanished the second he saw Penny sitting on the sofa.**

 **"Hi." she said to him simply.**

 **"Hi." he said back as he shut the door behind him. Slowly, he sat down next to her, terrified by what she might say.**

 **"So, umm, you still having those dreams?" she asked him, obviously finding it difficult to look at him.**

 **"Yeah." Leonard replied. He didn't bother to explain that he didn't think they were dreams, as that would only scare her. Sh** **e was silent for a moment before speaking again.**

 **"And you are still sure you don't want to try and stop them?"**

 **"Penny, listen." Leonard said, making her turn to look at him. "I love you, more than anything. When I was hit by that car, I went to that world and for the whole day, I was-"**

 **"The whole day?" Penny interrupted.**

 **"Oh, yeah. Even if I get knocked unconscious for a few minutes here, I can stay in that place for as long I want. Or at least until I fall asleep. If you are willing to, well, listen after this, I can explain." Leonard explained. Anyway, after the car accident I wasn't sure if I would wake up. Or if I would die. It was terrifying."**

 **"Then, why did you go to sleep?" Penny asked him, with Leonard seeing the concern in his wife's eyes. He could tell that she noticed the emotional in his voice as he spoke.**

 **"You." Leonard said simply, before explaining. "I was prepared to fight going to sleep, before I realized that I would be fighting to not see you again. And I could never do that."**

 **"But, why won't you try and stop these dreams?" Penny asked him, obviously trying to hold back her emotions. Whether these were angry or sympathetic emotions, Leonard didn't know.**

 **"If someone had come to me when this first started, and told me they could stop it,I would have agreed. I wouldn't have cared which world I would have to sacrifice. Both worlds were very similar." Leonard told her. "But now, things are different."**

 **"What do you mean?"**

 **"If I had to, I would choose you over that other world. But it would hurt to do so." Leonard explained, afraid that this conversation will end with her asking him to do the one thing he dreaded to do. "I have so much in that world, just like in this one. It would hurt so much to lose all the people I know there. But for you, I would try to do it."**

 **"But, you have to understand." Leonard continued. "This condition, is part of who I am now. I would try to change it for you if I could, but I wouldn't like it. I just hope you can understand where I'm coming from with this."**

 **"But, Leonard I don't believe that there is this other world." Penny told him.**

 **"But you believe in psychics and voodoo." Leonard pointed out. "You believe there are things in the world that we can't see or explain with science."**

 **"But how can you believe your dreams are real, but not in those things." Penny nearly shouted, obviously thinking she might have won the conversation.**

 **"Because I went to a psychic once when I was fourteen or so. She did some voodoo. She noticed nothing different about me." Leonard told Penny. "About three weeks later she was arrested for scamming some rich kid out of his money and it was explained on the news that she does that for a living."**

 **"But the things I believe in are believed in by hundreds of other people." Penny protested. "No one other than yourself believes that your dreams might be real."**

 **"So, if I convinced a certain number of people that what I'm saying is real, would that make it true?"**

 **"No." Penny argued.**

 **"But you just said that hundreds of people believe in what you believe. That's your justification for your beliefs. Why can't it be the same for me?" Leonard argued back.**

 **"You don't have any proof!"**

 **"Oh come on. There's no concrete proof of ghosts beyond stories that have been exaggerated and changed over time. There is a lot of proof proving that evolution is correct, but Sheldon's mother doesn't believe it. Proof has never actually mattered to people. There's a reason scientists have to work as hard as we do to make our work become proof that our theory is right.** **"**

 **"Penny was silent for a few minutes. "What do you want me to do Leonard? Believe that you're not crazy? That it's all true? Because I can't do that."**

 **"I'm not asking you to." Leonard told her, putting a hand on one of her hands. "I'm just asking you to ask yourself, before you consider asking me to stop whatever happens to me, if you can live with my condition. If you can learn to at least tolerate it. And if not that, if you are willing to accept the possibility of never seeing me again if you ask me to stop my condition. Because I doubt anyone will be able to stop it."**

 **Penny didn't answer him. After a few moments, Leonard eventually came to the conclusion she wasn't going to say anything. However, as he began to stand up, Penny grabbed his hand before he had completely removed it and spoke.**

 **"Okay."**

 **"Okay?" Leonard wondered, feeling the hope for the first time in a long time.**

 **"Just tell me one thing. What happened in the cafeteria?"**

 **"Well, I do think it was stress related. At the time my work was really getting to me, the university was putting a little to much pressure on me in both worlds and I had been missing out on a lot of sleep. But people do get tired like that all the time."**

 **"I know." Penny agreed, taking a deep breath before speaking again. "If something happens, something really bad, because of your...condition, I will get you help."**

 **"But, does that mean..." Leonard began, trailing off.**

 **"Yeah. I'm willing to try and live with it." Penny said as she gave him a smile. Leonard smiled back, not remembering a time when he has been happier than right now.**

* * *

Remember to tell me what you think and if there are in spelling mistakes. I had some difficulty trying to make the conversations between Leonard and Penny seem realistic enough, as Penny would be freaked out, but I hope you liked it.


	11. Chapter 11

Haven't had the time to work on this much, so I'm sorry for how long it's been and for how short this chapter is. Some more information about the analog and the original car accident that changed Leonard's life.

* * *

 **Leonard opened his eyes, disoriented for a moment. Then he relaxed and looked around his bedroom, noticing that there was no one in the bed with him. Penny must have gotten up while he was asleep, judging from the smell of bacon coming from the kitchen. His bedroom door was of poor quality, and smells could easily get through it.**

 **Getting up and putting his dressing gown on, along with his arm sling, he walked out of his bedroom towards the kitchen, smiling as he did. After all, he had plenty to smile about. Penny knew the truth about him and while she was understandably freaked, she had agreed to learn to accept it. Though he knew that didn't mean everything was perfect now. There are still some difficulties he is going to have to deal with in order to truly help her adapt to his situation.**

 **"Good morning." Leonard said as he saw her in the kitchen, making herself a cup of coffee.**

 **"Morning. Want some coffee?" Penny asked him as she poured hot water into her mug.**

 **"Sure." Leonard said as he walked up to the table. He watched Penny pull out another mug and start making him coffee.**

 **"Did you sleep well?" Penny asked him after giving him his coffee, observing him closely as she did. Leonard knew what she was really asking him.**

 **"Yeah, everything was good. Work was fine. You won't believe what happened in the geology department." Leonard told her with a smile. "And yes, I still woke up in an alternate world."**

 **"Okay, so let me just check through everything you've told me so I'm just sure I understand." Penny said as she focused all her attention on him. "When you were eleven, you were in a car accident right?"**

 **"Yeah. It happened so quickly, everything was all a blur." Leonard answered.**

 **"But what actually happened? What caused the accident?" Penny continued to ask. L** **eonard hesitated for a second, before deciding to tell her the truth. After all, that was what he wanted.**

 **"I did. I caused the accident." Leonard told her, ashamed as he told her.**

 **"What?" Penny asked, shocked by this new piece of information. "How is that possible."**

 **"I was messing around in the backseat, angry at my mum and dad. It was about that age that my resentment towards them starting to get harder to control. So I often got angry and made them miserable." Leonard told her. "My dad had been driving and I distracted him. He didn't see the car in time to do anything to stop it."**

 **The two of them were quiet after that for a few moments, just drinking their coffee to try and postpone continuing the conversation. Leonard felt, not for the first time, guilty for the role he played in the accident while Penny obviously was struggling to handle the information.**

 **"So, in your dreams, what's different?" Penny asked him. "Are there people in tights flying in the sky?"**

 **"No." Leonard said to her. "Look, that other life isn't ridiculous or something out of a comic book. It's just as messed up, painful and normal as this one."**

 **"But you said before that things were a lot more advance in your dreams, remember? When you were first telling me and you panicked a little." Penny said, obviously confused.**

 **"In technology, yes. Computers and stuff like that are at least a decade ahead of what we have now. The PlayStation 4 in that world came out two years before the PlayStation 3 here. In that world, I might actually live long enough to see all the sci-fi stuff I li** **ke come true."**

 **"But medically that world made a lot of mistakes that I doubt will be fixed any time soon." Leonard informed her. "And I mean a lot of mistakes. We're not in the dark ages of medicine or anything, but we aren't as good as we could be. Then there's the fact that people aren't as aware of what problems there are in other countries as they are here, so countries aren't being helped as much."**

 **"Is there anything good about that place?" Penny asked, appearing to be interested. Chances are that she was only asking to see how messed up his mind was.**

 **"Oh yeah, there are a couple. For starters, there hasn't been a gun related death in America for years and I think the last confirmed terrorist attack was nine years ago. Accident related deaths are now just a memory. At least half of the famous people who died in this world didn't." Leonard told her, planning to tell Penny more, such as how global warming is less of a threat it that world than in this one. But from the look she was giving him, he suspected that it was too early to talk this much about it. "But in the big picture, I guess that's not all that important."**

 **"Right. Well, I'm going to get dressed." Penny told him awkwardly, walking away.**

* * *

 _"So, anything new since our last session?" Long asked Leonard._

 _"Well, it's nearly time for me to finally meet Rosie's new boyfriend." Leonard told Long._

 **"How are things going with Penny?" Roberts asked him.**

 **"Okay. She's sort of accepted what happens to me." he told her. "Not that she isn't freaked out of course. I would be freaked out if she wasn't freaked out. But things are going well."**

 _"Are you nervous about meeting your sisters boyfriend?" Long asked him._

 _"Not really. I think I've met all the worst people she could possibly date, so anyone would be alright." Leonard told him. "But besides Rosie, Sheldon has told me he plans to propose to Katie."_

 _"Really?" Long said. "And how does that make you feel?"_

 _"Excited." Leonard admitted. "I mean, it's them."_

 _"Isn't it strange however that despite your apparent approval, in your dreams Sheldon is in a relationship with this Amy woman?" Long said to him._

 **"You are aware that your wife is an actress, correct?" Roberts asked Leonard, who began to feel uncomfortable after that question.**

 **"Yeah. But what's that got to do with this?" he asked.**

 **"Well, how do you know that Penny isn't pretending to be okay when she is actually freaking out like a normal person would?" Roberts questioned.**

 _"Okay, let me just explain my feelings on this before things get out of hand." Leonard said firmly. "I get it's weird to approve of two woman who could be with Sheldon, but that's just how my life works. Or lives I suppose."_

 _"But don't you believe in things like soul mates?" Long asked him. "That everyone has someone they're meant to be with?"_

 _"I don't know." Leonard replied. "I would like to, but after seeing hundreds of things happen to people in both worlds, I guess I might be a bit cynical."_

 **"Why would Penny pretend to be okay? Why not just tell me?" Leonard asked.**

 **"Because she known you want her to be okay with it, so she pretends to be okay with it to make you happy." Roberts told him. "Maybe you should really think about how easily she accepted what you said, instead of clinging to the hope it was that easy."**

* * *

 _"Okay everyone, Rosie should be here soon." Katie told everyone._

 _"Are you sure I should be here?" Bernadette asked. "I'm rather new to this little group you guys have aren't I?"_

 _"No way. You're part of our gang now Bernadette. And once you're in, you're in for life." Gilda told her with a smile._

 _"She's right. Look at Sheldon for example. No one wants him around, but he's part of the gang so we can't get rid of him." Leonard told her, trying to ignore the conversations with his therapists and how awkward Penny has been around him. Everyone chuckled, except for Sheldon who walked up to Leonard with an odd look on his face._

 _"Hey Leonard, can I talk to you for a minute?" Sheldon asked him.  
_

 _"Sure." he replied, following his friend down the hallway of the their apartment, away from everyone else. "What's wrong?"_

 _"Ok, here's what's happening." Sheldon told him quietly as he observed the others for a moment. "I'm taking Katie up to the roof tonight."_

 _"Oh, come on. You're going to go and have sex with her while we're supposed to be meeting Rosie's new boyfriend? Come on man, you're suppose to stop me from beating the guy up if he's a bad guy." Leonard protested._

 _"It's almost cute that you think you could beat somebody up." Sheldon replied. "But no, that's not what's happening. While I at first thought of doing it in a restaurant, we had our first date on the roof."_

 _"Do what?" Leonard asked. Sheldon looked hesitantly at Katie and then back at Leonard, leading the latter to realize. "Oh!"_

 _"Yeah. Just thought you should know, since it thing's go well you would be the best man. I'll just need you to cover for me and Katie." Sheldon told him._

 _"Wait. I'm your best man?" Leonard asked, surprised by what Sheldon just said._

 _"Obviously. Who else would it be?"_

 _"Wow. Thanks Sheldon." Leonard said. "Jesus. You're getting engaged tonight."_

 _"I hope so." Sheldon told him, looking both excited and terrified. When someone knocked on the front door, they both nodded to each other and walked towards the living room as Katie opened the front door. Leonard saw Rosie enter, following by who must be her boyfriend. Who it was stopped Leonard dead in his tracks. Because he knew the man._

 _"My God. How can it be you?"_

* * *

Again, I'm sorry for how long it's been and for how short this chapter is. A lot of stuff took up more time than I expected. But I should have everything sorted soon and I can devote more time to this. Anyway, who can guess the identity of Rosie's new boyfriend? Remember to point out spelling mistakes.


	12. Chapter 12

_"There's the lucky man who just celebrated his engagement!" Leonard said with a smile as Sheldon walked into the kitchen in his pajamas. "By the way, you have to soundproof your room again because I could barely sleep last night."_

 _"Oh, sorry." Sheldon told him. "So, beside that, what do you plan to do about Rosie's new boyfriend. Because I believe that we are all in agreement when I say that that guy is first rate scrum of the earth who gives guys a bad name."_

 _Leonard frowned for a second before trying to hide it at the mention of Rosie's boyfriend. He tried to focus on his own doubts with Penny, but his protective older brother instincts were too strong. He couldn't stop thinking about who she was dating and what kind of person he was._

 _"I don't want to talk about it." Leonard told him._

 _"Do you know him or something?" Sheldon asked, but a quick glare from Leonard made him reluctantly sigh in defeat. "Fine. We'll talk about something else."_

 _"Thank you." Leonard told him. "So, how do you want to celebrate your engagement?"_

 _"Uhh, I think I just did." Sheldon said with a proud grin._

 _"I need to get my own place." Leonard grumbled as Sheldon went to get his breakfast. "I can't take much more of you two."_

* * *

 **"Is something wrong Leonard?" Roberts asked her patient.**

 **"Yes there is!." Leonard told her. "I can't believe that she's dating him of all people."**

 **"Who is dating who?" Roberts asked.**

 **"Rosie!" Leonard told her. "My sister from that other place! I swear, it is taking all my willpower not to tear that bastard to pieces due to how he spoke to her.**

 _"So, anything new recently?" Long asked._

 _"Well, there is something with Sheldon." Leonard replied, trying to put his own problems out of his mind. "He's finally proposed to Katie, and she said yes."_

 _"Is everyone excited?"_

 _"Definitely. I think Gilda nearly had a heart attack when she learned the news. She's always loved weddings." Leonard told him. "So I don't have to worry about the wedding not happening. Now that the have agreed to get married, Gilda will force Katie and Sheldon to say I do, at gunpoint if she has to."_

 _"Really?"_

 _"She takes weddings very seriously."_

 **"But who is she dating?"**

 **"You wouldn't believe me if I told you! But I want to kill the bastard!" Leonard shouted. "And before you even think it, no I am not going to kill anyone!"**

 **"I wasn't actually thinking about that until you mentioned it." Roberts muttered. "But seriously, who is she dating?"**

 **"Look, can we just talk about something else please?"**

 **"Okay. How is your arm doing without the arm sling?"**

 **"Good." Leonard told her. "So now that's out of the way, get to what you wanted to actually say."**

 **"You're grumpier than before, aren't you?" Roberts noted. "Is it because we don't have that many sessions left?"**

 **"No. I mean, I guess I am a bit impatient to leave. Why is that Leonard?" Roberts asked.**

 **"Because there was never any reason for me to be here other than the fact the university was making me." Leonard told Roberts.**

 _"No reason? How can you say that." Long questioned. "Leonard, I highly recommend that you seem help with your problem. It isn't healthy."_

 _"Okay, I have two things to say to that. One: there are way crazier people in the world walking free than me." Leonard said. "And two: anyone who knows what we're saying in our session doesn't actually believe what I'm saying is the truth."_

 **"What do you mean?" Roberts asked him.**

 **"I mean, people think I'm saying all this just to pass the time and because the university is making me." Leonard explained. "Even tell people in charge think that's what I'm doing and would have stopped it ages ago if recent health protocols didn't demand me to go through this."**

 _ **"Leonard, to have to listen to me." his therapist told him firmly. "Your condition is unhealthy and potentially dangerous."**_

 _ **"Yeah, well, until I go so crazy I get a very inaccurate film based on my life where I'm played by an actor who is much better looking than me, I'm going to have to disagree with you." Leonard replied.**_

* * *

 **"So was work good?" Leonard asked as the two sat eating their dinner on the sofa.**

 **"Yeah, it was good." Penny replied without looking at him, looking at her phone while feeding herself bits of food.**

 **"Did you enjoy yourself?" Leonard continued. "After all, it is important to have a job that you enjoy."**

 **"Yep. That's great." Penny answered, causing Leonard to look at her in confusion, before deciding to check.**

 **"Well I had a great day at work.. We did a pretty cool experiment where we mutated a huntsman spider into a Godzilla sized monster with a desire to steal wannabe actresses and climb buildings to defeat a robot." Leonard replied.**

 **"Cool."**

 **"Then me and Sheldon went to a strip club and became good friends with your ex Kurt, who works as a bouncer there now." Leonard continued. "After we got married to a bunch of strippers in Vegas and used a time machine to meet famous people in history, we came back to learn that our actions led to the death of Charlie Sheen."**

 **"Wait, what!?" Penny asked in shock, looking away from her phone for the first time since she got home. "Charlie Sheen is dead?!"**

 **"No he isn't. I was just seeing if you were paying attention. I figured that if you weren't, the only thing you would hear would be the death of one of your favourite actors." Leonard told her. "So what are you looking at on your phone?"**

 **"Nothing." Penny answered, quickly putting her phone away.**

 **"Penny, please." Leonard begged. "Tell me what's bothering you."**

 **She didn't answer and reluctantly the two sat there, eating in awkward silence. Eventually however, Penny began to speak, much to Leonard's relief.**

 **"I was researching what you told me. You know, about your dreams." Penny told him. "Trying to see if there had been anything else like it "**

 **"And has there been?" Leonard asked, though he already knew the answer.**

 **"No, there hasn't." Penny answered. "Can I ask you something."**

 **"Sure."**

 **"Well, some of the stuff you told me just didn't make sense." Penny said. "For instance, how can there be no accident related deaths anymore. That's just too impossible."**

 **"Well, maybe I should have explained that better." Leonard admitted. "And I might have exaggerated a bit because at the time, you seemed to think that other place was some kind of hell. But I did do some research once, and those kind of deaths are just less likely. In the last ten years, there have been about sixty-four percent less accident related deaths in the other world than this one. Seriously, the information you would need is all on the internet. All I had to do was compare the information here to the information there."**

 **"How is that possible?"**

 **"Well, it's like what I told you about technology. It's more advanced. I mean, machines can check all the things people need to check much better than people can. It's like every technological mistake or problem people have experienced in this world never happened in the other, so everything is a bit better. I can't give a better explanation than that. I mean, it's like how is Justin Bieber so popular in both worlds? I will never know."**

 **"But Leonard, everything about those dreams just seem so unbelievable. I don't understand how you can be so unsure over which world is real. It's why I-" Penny quickly stopped herself, her eyes widening as she realized that she had said too much.**

 **"That's why you what?" Leonard asked.**

 **"That's why I started calling some professionals. To see if any of them have heard of anything like this." Penny whispered. Leonard stared at her for a few seconds, before putting his food down and going to the door.**

 **"I need to take a walk." Leonard said before opening the door and leaving the apartment.**

* * *

 _Leonard walked out of the elevator, two bags of groceries in each hand. He was currently very excited for his and Sheldon's plans to go to the cinema to see Spider-Man 7, the first of the Sam Raimi to take place in the MCU due to the deal between Sony and Marvel. Unlike in the digital, Raimi's Spider-Man is still as successful as ever, though the sixth film was not as good, though not bad enough to end the franchise. So Tobey Maguire is still the wall crawling hero, though they have moved the character to the MCU through a dimensional portal. But Leonard and Sheldon were so excited to see it, as both knew that the next few months will limit the amount of time they can spend together. After all, Sheldon and Katie will be busy planning their wedding._

 _"Oh, hey Leonard." Rosie said as she walked out of her apartment, her boyfriend with her._

 _"Oh hi Rosie." Leonard said to her, before looking at the boyfriend. "Hi Dennis."_

 _"Hey Leonard." Dennis Kim said with a nod._

 _"Dennis, would you mind waiting in the car. I need to speak to my brother in private." Rosie asked Dennis._

 _"Okay, but hurry up. You don't want to make me late for the presentation do you." Dennis replied before heading to the elevator after Rosie had nodded. After he was in the elevator, Rosie glared at Leonard._

 _"Okay, what is your problem?"_

 _"I don't have a problem." Leonard lied._

 _"Yes you do. You were acting weird last night." she argued._

 _"Okay, look." Leonard eventually said in defeat. "You know how I like to avoid getting involved in your love life?"_

 _"Yes, and I've been very thankful for that." Rosie replied._

 _"Well, I'm afraid I have to get involved because the guy," Leonard told her as he gestured towards the elevator, "is so far the worst boyfriend you've ever had."_

 _"What?"_

 _"Throughout the whole night, all he did was talk down to you and be ungrateful." Leonard told her. "I mean, I thought that biker guy was the worse, but Dennis makes that guy seem like a saint. He never spoke down to you."_

 _"Leonard I love Dennis and you have no right to talk to me about this." Rosie told him. "And how does Dennis make a drug dealer seem like the better option."_

 _"Because that guy actually cared about you despite all his bad qualities. And I believe I have every right when my sister starts to date someone as controlling as that, someone who starts nearly every sentence giving an example of when you made a mistake or blaming you for something!" Leonard argued. "Everyone agreed. Sheldon, Katie and Gilda all had the same opinion as me."_

 _"Well, none of you have the right to tell me who I should date. Jesus, your starting to sound like our mother." Rosie said, before walking off._

 _"Rosie, don't leave. Please, can we just talk?" Leonard said, but it was too late. She quickly dashed down the stairs, leaving Leonard behind._

* * *

Ok, some bad news. Due to a technical problem, some of my plans for this fanfic have been lost. That will teach me not to leave everything stored on one thing. Because I don't think I will have time to plan everything again and because I don't want to risk leaving this fanfic unfinished, here's what's going to happen. If there are any characters or events you desperately want to see in the analog or digital, start telling me so I can do chapters with them because all I remember is what I planned for the final few chapters. So basically, I plan to start wrapping this story up by getting the stuff you want to see done before working on the final few chapters, which will focus on only Leonard personally and not so much on his relationship with the other characters. Also, the final chapters will be more sci-fi, and possibly more action like, than the previous chapters, so anyone not interested in that might not enjoy it. Also, I'm afraid that because of some personal stuff I won't have as much time as I do now to work on this, so it might take longer for me to do updates. I apologise. Anyway, in case no one remembers the character, Dennis Kim is a minor character who served as Sheldon's rival for an episode. I originally intended for it to be someone else, with there being some chapters about the character, but because of what happened with all my plans I changed it.


	13. Chapter 13

**"You want to help me right?" Leonard asked Roberts, who nodded in response.**

 **"Of course. That is the whole purpose of these sessions." Roberts replied. "To help you with your problems."**

 **"Well then why are you talking to Penny and causing more problems for me?" Leonard asked, trying to control his temper.**

 **"What?"**

 **"Don't try to deny it!" Leonard told her. "I know you and her have been talking."**

 **"What, she told you?" Roberts asked him.**

 **"No." Leonard replied reluctantly. "I may have took a peek at her emails, which she left open. But I had to know what kind of things she had been told. And really, you think I'm suffering from psychosis?"**

 **"It's the only think I can think of that matches what you've told me. You suffer from the delusion that your dreams are real and you possibly have hallucinations." Roberts explained. "And apparently paranoia might be something to look into, since you saw reading your wife's private emails a a better option as opposed to just talking to her."**

 **"How can you even talk to Penny about what we've been talking about?" Leonard asked. "What about confidentiality? That's part of the reason why I even talk to you. I know you have to tell some of the higher ups, but you can't tell anyone else."**

 **"Well I felt sorry for Penny. I didn't tell her everything, just the bare minimum so she knows something." Roberts defended herself, though Leonard knew that she understood that she broke the rules between a therapist and a patient.**

 **"Look, I just want to know for sure what stuff you've told Penny I don't know about. I get the feeling she's scared of me because of what you've told her." Leonard tried to explain.**

 **"Well she should be scared." Roberts told him firmly. "Even though I've never heard of your kind of condition before, it still suggests a bad condition that you need real help with."**

 **"But it's not hurting anyone, no one has gotten hurt." Leonard protested.**

 **"Yet, which I why I need you to continue seeing me or seek help elsewhere. I can't do anything to help because there hasn't been any conclusive evidence that what you're telling me is some kind of joke to pass the time." Roberts tried to explain.**

 _"What do you mean you've recommended me to a different therapist?" Leonard asked Long._

 _"Because I can't help you Leonard. This is beyond me, which is why I sent recordings of my sessions to other people to get their opinions. One is about when you had your outburst." Long told him._

 _"But why? That can't be enough to start getting other people involved." Leonard said. "Mrs Roberts hasn't done that, except by telling the people she has to tell."_

 _"Yet further proof that she, along with your dreams, aren't real." Long said firmly. "I mean, realistically there is no one she is supposed to tell because of patient confidentially, with the exception of the police if she thought you were going to commit a crime. Anyway, because of your recent actions and the fact you seem to depend on your dream therapist more than me, I feel that I am enabling you despite trying to help you. Thus, I feel someone more qualified could help you more."_

 _"But our sessions are nearly finished." Leonard protested._

 _"Which is why I have recommended to the university that your sessions are extended to a few months. Maybe even a whole year." Long replied._

 _"But that's completely ridiculous. I'm fine." Leonard tried to tell him, but it was for nothing._

 _"Not judging from what I've seen Leonard." Long told him._

 **"Now, if it is alright with you, I would like to ask you a question. It's something I have been thinking about recently." Roberts said to him, and Leonard reluctant nodded.**

 **"Alright, what is it?"**

 **"What is your opinion on children?" Roberts asked.**

 **"Uhh, they're alright I guess." Leonard answered, but confused due to not knowing why Roberts would ask such a question. "Though I'm a bit wary of them, because I've never gotten along with children even when I was a kid."**

 **"No, you misunderstand. Sorry I should have been more specific." Roberts explained. "I wanted to know what your thoughts are on having kids."**

 **"Oh. Well, I would love to have kids. I've always said that any kids I have with Penny would be both smart and beautiful." Leonard said with a smile.**

 **"But say you did have children with Penny, how would you feel when you sleep and you go to your dreams? How will you feel when you live in a world where they don't exist?" Roberts asked him.**

 **Leonard was quiet as he thought about it, unsure what to say.**

* * *

 **"You know what I've always wondered?" Raj asked Leonard, Sheldon and Howard as the four of them picked out comics at Stuart's store. Before anyone could say anything however, Raj continued to speak. "Do you think Amalgam comics could have been a successful comic series if DC and Marvel had decided to continue with it?"**

 **"No." Sheldon said simply. "The very idea was ludicrous."**

 **"I disagree." Leonard said, knowing that it would have been successful as that is what happened in the analog.**

 **"How?" Howard asked. "I'm a fan of the Amalgam universe just as much as the next comic book nerd, except Sheldon, but how could something like that last?"**

 **"Just trust me guys when I say that it could have worked. And it would have made DC much less confusing while offering much more opportunities for Marvel." Leonard told them.**

 **"So guys, I'm closing early so you're going to have leave." Stuart told the four of them from the counter. A few seconds later he was packing their comics into different bags, with everyone noticing that Stuart was dressed better than usual.**

 **"So why are you closing early?" Raj asked Stuart as the latter passed Raj's bag to the former.**

 **"Well, I've got a date." Stuart replied.**

 **"Ha! That's funny!" Howard laughed. "Seriously, why are you closing early?"**

 **"Because I've got a date." Stuart said again, looking annoyed.**

 **"What, really?" Howard asked.**

 **"Yes. Why is that surprising?" Stuart asked, glancing at his four long time customers and friends as he did.**

 **"Well, it's surprising that anyone would want to date you." Sheldon suddenly, without looking away from the comics he was checking in his bag. "You aren't that attractive, you have a very pale complexion, your job isn't that impressive, you often have financial issues and you have no social circle."**

 **"Hey!" Stuart protested. "I have many friends."**

 **"Then why do you only hang out with your customers?" Sheldon asked, not realizing how rude he was being.**

 **"I don't have to explain myself to you." Stuart replied weakly after a few seconds of silence.**

 **"Well, I'm happy for you Stuart." Leonard told him. "How did you meet? Online dating?"**

 **"Actually, we met when I was being mugged." Stuart explained. "She came along and scared the guy away."**

 **"Really?" Howard said in a tone that was close to mocking.**

 **"Don't judge me. If you and Bernadette were being mugged, you wouldn't be the one saving the two of you. Bernadette would scare anyone." Stuart told him. Howard was unable to argue. "Anyway, after that I asked her out and she said yes. She said she was coming to pick me up at this time. In fact, here she is now."**

 **Everyone looked to the door of the comic book shop to see a blind haired woman enter. Howard and Raj reacted with shock as she was way out of Stuart's league. Sheldon wasn't that bothered. But Leonard reacted in shock because he knew her. Stuart walked over the woman, who smiled slightly.**

 **"Guys, I would like to introduce you to my date." he told them, gesturing the the blond haired woman. "This is Katie."**

* * *

 _"So are you guys ever going to start planning your wedding, or are you going to stay on the sofa forever?" Leonard asked Sheldon and Katie, who were laid out on the sofa together and watching a film._

 _"We don't need to. When Missy found out, she and Gilda have set to work. Me and Sheldon only really need to tell them the basics of what we want, and they will take care of the rest." Katie answered._

 _"And mum has forced dad to get involved too, so there's that." Sheldon said as well._

 _Leonard wasn't sure what decision led to to George Cooper Sr still being alive, but he knew that had some positive effects. He was still together with Mary and they were still very much in love, and he has given Sheldon some much needed advice over the years that he was probably the reason for why Sheldon was so different in this world. Missy, Sheldon's twin sister, had started a very successful business in Texas and had three kids, though her husband had passed away a few years ago._

 _"How has your brother been?" Leonard asked Sheldon._

 _"George is still in Venice, but he will promised he will find time to be there for the wedding. It is a few months away after all." Sheldon replied. His brother George Jr had become an aeroplane pilot, a job that meant he travelled to many different countries._

 _"Oh, by the way, guess who's going to be quite couple in a few months." Katie said, both Sheldon and Leonard knowing it wasn't a proper question due to knowing her so well. "Bernadette and Raj."_

 _"But he can't talk to women." Sheldon said, obviously confused._

 _"Oh trust me, I saw the attraction between them. So did Gilda." Katie explained. "Raj just needs a little help. But come on, both of you have got to admit that they would work together."_

 _"Yeah, I guess." both roommates said, though Leonard had conflicting feelings about that. On the one hand, he agreed that they could be good together. But Leonard always started to think about Howard and how it felt wrong that Bernadette wasn't with him, even though he would never be friends with the Howard of this world judging from how the news had described him._

 _"But guys I still think you two should be doing more about the wedding." Leonard said, earning groans of annoyance from Katie and Sheldon._

 _"Hey, who is married right now and who is single?" Katie asked._

 _"Fine, I get it. I'll stop talking about the wedding." Leonard said. "So do either of you have any ideas on what to do about Rosie and Dennis?"_

 _"I don't know Leonard. Rosie seems really interested in Dennis, more than she has been interested in any one before." Katie replied._

 _"Personally, I think you should just leave her to sort it out herself." Sheldon said, causing both Leonard and Katie to stare at him in shock at his word. Sheldon quickly defended himself however. "Look, I just_ _think the more you try to force her to see reason, the more she will refuse to listen. But she's smart and I think that given time she will come to her senses. Plus, if it looks like she won't, remember that she and Dennis are staying for a little while longer to see Stan Lee at Capital Comics."_

 _Leonard nodded reluctantly. While it pained him to admit it, Rosie was very stubborn and won't do anything unless she wants to do it. He could try to help her, but he would run the very high risk of making her distance herself from him. Not that he wouldn't still try._

* * *

 **Leonard was sitting on the sofa in his apartment, watching star wars the empire strikes back to prevent himself from thinking about Penny. To do this, he tried to focus as much as he could on the plot, or wonder how the prequel trilogy ended up being terrible in both universes, but he was quickly finding himself to be unsuccessful. All he could think about was how he was going to fix things with Penny, but he was terrified of even trying to talk to her. Suddenly, as if the universe knew when it should make things worse for him, Penny entered their apartment.**

 **"Hi." she said simply after she had noticed he was here and had stopped in surprise. Which meant she had been hoping only to run into him. Slowly, she closed the door behind her.**

 **"Hi." Leonard replied, struggling to decide what that he should do. "So, I guess we should talk?"**

 **"Yeah. I guess so." Penny said. There was a moment of awkward silence before Leonard spoke.**

 **"Look, I get why you talked to my therapist." Leonard finally said, causing Penny to look at him in shock. "I've been thinking about it, and I do understand."**

 **"Thank you." Penny said, looking relieved.**

 **"But, I just would have liked it if you trusted me enough to tell me that you were scared." Leonard said as he walked towards her slowly.**

 **"Yeah I know." Penny replied. "Guess that makes me the worst wife ever huh?"**

 **"No, no I would never think that." Leonard told her. "I just want you to trust me. I will always be honest with you and if you can be honest with me about this stuff, I will never be upset or angry."**

 **"Okay. Yeah, I can do that." Penny said, be for hugging him. Leonard hugged back, a smile on his face. Suddenly, Penny pulled away slightly. "By the way, did you read my emails?"**

 **Leonard was silent, embarrassment and insecurity on his face, before he spoke desperately. "How about we go shopping?"**

 **"Let's go." Penny told him with a small chuckle.**

* * *

 _Leonard was in a book shop, buying the latest star wars novel as unlike in the digital, the sequel trilogy never happened and thus there was nothing under the legends banner. Smiling with excitement, and what happened with Penny in the digital, he took it up to the counter to buy for it._

 _"Here you go." he said to the woman in front of him, not really looking at her._

 _"Okay, that's nine dollars." she said, her voice confusing Leonard. It seemed very familiar to him, but he shook his head and pulled out his wallet, getting out the money._

 _"Here you go." he said to her, still smiling and happy, before dropping the money when he recognized her. His mouth dropped and he could practically feel his eyes bulge in shock._

 _"Sir, are you okay?" the blond haired woman asked, before she grew more panicked when he didn't respond. "Oh God, are you having a stroke?"_

 _"Penny?" Leonard asked, despite knowing it was really here._

 _"What? Oh no, you've seen one of my films." Penny muttered in embarrassment, covering her face._

* * *

Here you go, and remember to tell me about spelling mistakes. Against my better judgement, because all of you have been asking for it for ages, Leonard has finally met the analog Penny. Because someone wanted to know, I originally intended for Rosie's boyfriend to be Howard, and to do a few chapters dealing with his interactions with the group, especially Bernadette and Raj. Capital Comics is from the show and is owned by Stuart's business rival Jesse. I tried to look into what Leonard's therapist are likely to give him as a mental condition, and psychosis was the closest I could find, though there could be a better one. By the way, can you give me your opinion on how I handled Leonard's conversation with Penny in the digital, because I'm personally unsure about it. Anyway, in this chapter you see some of the things I had planned to do two to three chapters on, but because of what happened to the plans I had to limit them to just small things.


	14. Chapter 14

Sorry for how long it's been. I got a bunch of new ideas for other stories and I couldn't focus on this until I got at least some of them out of my head, along with stuff outside of this distracting me.

* * *

 _Leonard didn't know what to do. He was looking at his wife Penny, except the woman in front of him wasn't his wife. She didn't even know who he was. And it hurt him way more than he had ever imagined that it could have. He wanted to talk to her, hear her voice, just b e with her just like in the digital. But she wasn't his wife. She had a million different experiences that make her different from his wife._

 _"Hey, what are you looking at?" Penny asked him, glaring at him angrily. "Look, can you leave? You're holding up the line."_

 _Leonard looked at her before looking at all the people waiting behind him. Slowly, unsure and confused due to meeting Penny, Leonard moved out of the way and allowed the woman behind him to go up to the register. Leonard, wanting to escape her, found himself walking towards the automatic doors. As he left he couldn't help but look back at Penny one more time, before running as fast as he could._

* * *

 **"Oh come on." Penny begged her husband. "Tell me new weird stuff about your dreams."**

 **"Ok. It's legal to have multiple spouses." Leonard told her as he ate some chips from his plate.**

 **"Seriously!" Penny said if shock.**

 **"Of course not." Leonard said with a chuckle before becoming serious. "The claim to have that happened was repealed."**

 **While it wasn't perfect, Leonard had to admit that he was more happy than ever before now that Penny was somewhat accepting of what was happening with them. She was genuinely interested in learning about the alternate world he lived in when he slept, and sometimes laughed a little at the small differences than.**

 **"So what else is there? Are there any films or shows there that aren't here?" Penny asked him.**

 **"Well somehow by a miracle I don't fully understand, Batman and Robin wasn't as bad as it was here. So we got Batman Unchained, which was an even worse film that the Batman and Robin of this world. It was so bad, I'm perfectly capable of watching Batman and Robin here and enjoy it." Leonard answered. "Thankfully however, it didn't affect the Dark Knight films which have actually been continued through the Nightwing films."**

 **"I don't want to hear nerd stuff." Penny said to him. "Tell me something good and interesting."**

 **"Umm, the Twilight books were never made, and thus neither were the films." Leonard answered. "How's that?"**

 **"Ok, no offense but how can you believe that world might be real when Twilight doesn't exist there?" Penny asked. "All guys do is complain about those and you are no exception, so why would you think this world is fake when Twilight exists here?"**

 **"That is a good argument." Leonard said with a smile. "I don't hate myself enough to create that nightmare even in my subconcious."**

 **"So I was wondering something." Penny said as she got up from the sofa and went over to the fridge, opening it to pull out a bottle of lemonade. "What am I doing in this alternate world?"**

 **"What?" Leonard asked hesitantly and in terror, instantly regretting his promise to be honest with her about his condition.**

 **"Come on, don't pretend you haven't looked me up." Penny said to him, not noticing the worried look on Leonard's face. "I mean, why wouldn't you look me up? So come on, what am I up to?"**

 **"Well you see, it's a little complicated."**

 **"How could it be complicated? What, am I president or something?" Penny asked as she sat back down, before thinking about what she had just said and what Leonard had told her so far about the analog. "Oh God, am I president?"**

 **"No, no that's not it." Leonard replied, scratching the back of his head awkwardly a she struggled to figure out a good way to explain this. He knew it would be better to lie, but he felt like he had to tell Penny the truth. He had told her he would after all. "Ok, I need you to stay open minded about this and know I have no control over what I learn in the analog."**

 **"Leonard you're kind of freaking me out." Penny told him.**

 **"I know. Ok, in my dreams you kind of make it as an actress." he told her, struggling to just tell her the occupation she has, or at least had, in the analog.**

 **"I'm sensing a but..."**

 **"But it's in more adult type of films. Specifically ones without a proper plot and involving you and other people being...naked." Leonard tried to explain as delicately as possible. He could feel his face go red in embarrassment and awkwardness as he said all this. Penny stared at him for a few minutes, her mouth opening and closing again as she clearly struggled to find the right words to say to him.**

 **"Ok. Ok, let's just...I don't know let's just discuss this clamly." Penny muttered as she stood up and began to stressfully walk around, clearly talking more to herself than Leonard. She just paced around the room for a moment, before focusing on Leonard and taking a deep breath. "So in your dreams I am a porn star?"**

 **"Yeah." Leonard said in embarrassment.**

 **"You do realise that because it is your dreams, this makes me think you have some secret fantasy involving me doing stuff with other guys while you watch right?" Penny asked him, clearly hating this situation.**

 **"Oh God no, that is not what I think!" Leonard protested. "That is not what I want you to think. I don't know why it's like that I really don't."**

 **"Well, it's creepy." Penny told him. "You're going to have to give me time to...God I don't know how I'm supposed to act!"**

 **"I Know this insane, but I wanted to be honest with you." Leonard told her.**

 **"Well, am I still doing that kind of work?"**

 **"No, I don't think so. I mean when I checked I couldn't-" Leonard began, before stopping himself.**

 **"Wait, you checked?" Penny asked him as she sat back down next to him. "What do you mean you checked? Do you mean you watch it a lot?"**

 **"No, that's not what I mean. I checked after I met you in my dreams." Leonard said, before immediately regretting it.**

 **"Wait you've met me?" Penny asked, clearly finding the whole idea insane. "Are you involved in those kinds of movies or something?"**

 **"Oh God no. This is not going how I wanted it to." Leonard said. "No, I ran into you a few days ago at a book store. And you were very disgusted when she realised I knew who you were, since that meant I watched...you know."**

 **"This is just confusing me just like that film." Penny told him as she rubbed her temples.**

 **"What, you mean Terminator? Mr Nobody? Predestination? Stop me when I get it right." Leonard replied jokingly, hoping to lighten the mood.**

 **"Don't push me Hofstadter." Penny warned him. "So what did you do when you ran into dream me?"**

 **"I ran away. I mean, I was pretty surprised to see you." Leonard explained, and to his surprise Penny smiled a little while suppressing laughter. "What's so funny about that?"**

 **"It's just that you running away from me because you were scared of me is the only thing about your dreams world that is genuinely believable." Penny said.**

 **"I wasn't scared." Leonard protested.**

 **"Sure sweetie." Penny said with a smile, before it vanished and she became stressed again. "Oh God, what am I doing? This is insane."**

 **"You're telling me. I was perfectly fine not knowing where you were in that world, then all of a sudden there you were." Leonard told her. "I mean, I don't know what I'm supposed to do."**

 **"Well you have to ask me out." Penny told him, causing Leonard to look at her in surprise.**

 **"What? I...What?" he asked incredulously. "Why would you want me to do that?"**

 **"Because I would rather you have erotic dreams about me, instead of someone else." she told him. "Hey, I'm just being a loving wife and accepting this like you wanted."**

 **"So, you want me to do that?" he asked, not sure how he felt about it.**

 **"Like I said, I would rather have it be me. Plus," she told him with a smile forming, " if your dreams are at all realistic we both know it's going to take you about two years before dream me finally sleeps with you and another bunch of years before she finally gives in to your relentless begging."**

 **"That is...probably true." Leonard replied, starting out insulted before quickly accepting the fact. "But are you sure you ok with this?"**

 **"Yes. Just, don't tell me what fantasies you had." Penny said.**

 **"It's not any kind of fantasy!" Leonard protested futilely.**

* * *

 _"So, what do you need to say?" Leonard asked Rosie as he helped her get her bags into the taxi._

 _"Umm, thanks for having me?" Rosie replied, before reluctantly giving up. "Alright, you were right about Dennis."_

 _"Thank you." Leonard said happily. "I still can't believe you beat him up."_

 _"Well despite what you think, I don't need my big brother or anyone for that matter to protect me like I'm some damsel." Rosie told him. "I know you wanted to protect me from him, but I'm perfectly capable of finding out how much of a scum bag the bastard was by myself."_

 _"Yes you are. Unfortunately that makes Sheldon right." Leonard said grimly, knowing how arrogant Sheldon as going to be for the next few days. "But are you ok? I mean, I know you cared about the guy."_

 _"I won't lie and say I won't spend a few days crying my eyes out over him. But I'll get over it." Rosie reassured him. "Anyway, it's been good seeing you Leonard. Hopefully next time I'm round you've finally gotten yourself a girlfriend."_

 _"Maybe." Leonard told her as he gave her a hg, and then watched her get into the taxi. The car drove away as Leonard watched, and once it was gone he decided to take a small walk. There was a comic book store nearby anyway, so he figured he could buy a few new comics. Thirty minutes later he was leaving the comic store with a bag in his hand and was so happy he didn't realise he was walking into someone when he turned at a corner. Luckily the other person did and narrowly avoiding him, causing Leonard to notice._

 _"Oh, sorry I wasn't paying attention. My fau-" Leonard started to apologise, stopping when he saw who he was talking to._

 _"Oh no, not you." Penny moaned as she looked at Leonard who she clearly remembered meeting a few days ago. "Are you following me or something?"_

 _"No, no I'm not." Leonard said quickly. "I'm just getting comics from the store."_

 _"Yeah well, stay away from me." she told him before walking away. Leonard just stood there and was about to walk in the opposite direction, before he did something that eh acknowledged would look a bit creepy and followed Penny._

 _"Hey wait." he said as he caught up with her._

 _"Alright, if you don't leave me alone I will scream." Penny warned Leonard, looking like she was going to punch him in the face._

 _"no please, just hear me out." Leonard told her quickly, not wanting to freak her out. "I just want to apologise how I acted back at the book store. I should have been better and I'm sorry if I upset you in anyway."_

 _"Yeah right." Penny replied swiftly, before looking at him in confusion. "Hang on. You're not doing what other guys do."_

 _"What do you mean?"_

 _"Normally when I meet a guy who knows about what I used to do for a living, they either spend the whole time staring at my breasts or get embarrassed because they keep picturing me naked." Penny explained, still looking very confused. "You're not doing either."_

 _"Well, like I said I'm sorry." Leonard told her again as he began to walk away. "I'll try to make up for any trouble I caused you by finding a new book store to go to."_

 _"Wait." Penny said, making him stop. "I know I'm probably going to regret this, but if you want you can make it up to me by buying me a coffee?"_

 _"Umm yeah sure." a confused Leonard responded, shocked by what was happening. "There's a cool place just down the road."_

 _"Alright." Penny said awkwardly, and the two began to walk together down the street._

* * *

So tell me what you think and if there are spelling mistakes or sentences that don't make sense. Also, tell me if how both digital and analog Penny acted seemed realistic to you as I struggled a bit with that part, and I was a bit unhappy with it myself.


End file.
